Court In 500 Words:Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney
by Greenx91
Summary: Is it possible to summarize parts of the game in 500 words? YES! It's done isn't it? Note:Please don't read, unless you are finished with the game, or else you'll suffer from confusion. Status: Complete
1. Case 1

Mia: Good luck, Wright!

Phoenix: Are you sure I'm ready? I'm a little nervo-

Mia flashes her breast

Phoenix: I'm good to go!

**Court**

Judge: Court is in session!

The judge sees Phoenix

Judge: A new attorney? Well, I guess I'll have to postpone the trial to give him, a quiz.

Judge: Question 1- What is your name?

Phoenix: Phoenix Wright

Judge: Good. Question 2- Where are we?

Phoenix: Court

Judge: Correct. Question 3- What size are Mia's breast?

Phoenix: More than or equal to DD

Judge: Ah, thank you for that info. Now that you've told me Mia's size, I can safely believe that you are able to defend. Now Mr. Payne, would you please bring in the defendant?

Payne: Of course, your honor

Larry comes in, looking like a douche

Larry: I are here

Payne: So...…... Larry Butz... Did ya' do it?

Larry: No

Payne: You're lying dammit! And I'm going to prove it! I've got a witness!

Mr. Sahwit steps in to testify

Judge: Testify!

**Testimony**

Statement 1: It was him!

Statement 2: I saw him!

Statement 3: The time was 1 o'clock!

Judge: Hm... I'm almost positive this guy is de killa. Now, Mr. Wright, for your cross-examination.

Phoenix: Cross-examination?

Mia flashes her breast

Phoenix: I see!

Judge: Stop referencing your Japanese name and get started!

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: It was him!

Phoenix:**HOLD IT**- You sure?

Sahwit: Yes

Phoenix: Why?

Statement 2: I saw him!

Statement 3: The time was 1 o'clock!

Phoenix: **OBJECTION!-**The victim died at 4pm!

Sahwit:...

Judge: Do you have any proof?

Phoenix: Have we even gotten the evidence yet?

Everyone stares at Winston Payne

Payne: *sigh* I'll go get them

22 minutes later

Payne: Here they are

Phoenix: Hm? Oh! *clears throat* The victim didn't die 'till 4pm!

Sahwit: Ack!

Judge: Why is there a 3 hour gap?

Sahwit: Uh...

Judge: Testify!

**Testimony**

Statement 1: Uh, well, you see...

Statement 2: I heard it on the statue clock!

Judge: I automaticly believe you. You may start the cross-examination, Mr. Wright.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: Uh, well, you see...

Statement 2: I heard it on the statue clock!

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!**-The statue looks nothing like a clock. Also, it only rings when you cause pressure on the head. Because of this, I believe that you are de killa!

Sahwit: GRAAAAAAA!

then proceeded to throw his rat at Phoenix. Phoenix likes pie.

Sahwit: If you're going to accuse me of murder, then tell me this! How can you prove the clock was 3 hours wrong!

Phoenix: Uh... Mia, I really need some help right now!

Mia: *sigh*

Mia flashes her breast again

Phoenix:**TAKE THAT**-The victim went to Paris, where its 9 hours fast!

Sahwit: FFFUUUUUUUDDDDDGGGGGGEEEEEEE!

Mr. Sahwit then collapsed onto floor

Judge: I declare Larry Butz

**G-U-I-L-T-Y**

Judge: I mean-

**NOT GUILTY**

Judge: Now get out!

**Lobby**

Larry: Thanks Nick!

Larry sees Mia

Larry: … let me show my thanks by giving you this statue clock!

Mia: Thank you!

Larry:No breast huh... well *bleep* you then!


	2. Case 2 1st Investigation

Mia: Maya! Get this statue clock thing that has evidence!

Maya: Okay, but we better have burgers!

Mia: Hahaha! NOOOOOOO!

_Conversation Recorded_

**Later that day**

?: Give me the papers!

Mia: No

?: ...YOU MUST DIE!

Mia:Ahh!

**Later that night**

Phoenix: I like pie! *sniffs* Is that blood that I've never encountered before?

Phoenix runs to the office and sees Mia's dead body

Phoenix: Snake? ...I mean Chief? Chief? CHIEEEEEEEFFF!

Phoenix sees the girl and kicks her out

Phoenix: I must illegally gather evidence!

Suddenly a scream is heard... but Phoenix ignores it. The police soon came

Gumshoe: Hey miss! Who's name is on this receipt?

Maya: Mine

Gumshoe: Hahahaha! Another job well done! Now come with me if you want to live... in jail

**Detention center**

Maya: Let me tell you personal stuff about me, like how I'm a spirit medium, so I can ask you to ask someone else to defend me

Phoenix: Uh, doesn't make sense, but okay

Phoenix leaves, but comes back quickly

Maya: Did you ask him?

Phoenix: No

Maya: ...

Phoenix: I'm leaving to investigate a case that isn't even mine.

**Fey and Co. Law Offices**

Phoenix: LOOK AT MY ATTORNEY BADGE!

Gumshoe: Ahh! Here's the autopsy report and the suspect's cell phone! Also, the witness isn't allowed go anywhere!

Phoenix: Thanks

**Gatewater Hotel**

Phoenix: Breast have arrived!

April: Oh! Hello th-

Phoenix: LOOK AT MY ATTORNEY BADGE!

April: I don't like nosey defense attorneys

Phoenix: I'm leaving. Goodbye sexist stereotype!

**Grossberg Offices**

Phoenix: ...you're fat.

Grossberg: Yes I am.

Phoenix: I'm sorry. I was going to ask you to defend Maya Fey, but clearly, you are incapable of walking.

Grossberg: I would've denied you anyway.

Phoenix: Thank you for understanding.

**Detention Center**

Maya: Did you ask him?

Phoenix: Uh... you see, I don't really think you should use that guy. He seems big enough to waste the chapter's 500 words, alone.

Maya: ...what really happened?

Phoenix: …

Maya: Don't tell me he refused

Phoenix: Okay, I won't

Maya: I've been abandoned, then.

Phoenix: Don't feel bad. Now let me ask you questions about your family, which will probably depress you more.

Maya: Okay. My dad died, my mother disappeared, my only sister died, and I've been framed for murder. Oh! And just to make a random, yet helpful remark. Redd White, my mother's enemy.

Phoenix: I'm going to defend you whether you like it or not!

Maya: Why?

Phoenix: Because the plot line won't move if I don't.

**Gatewater Hotel**

Bellboy: Hello! I am a french stereotype!

Phoenix: Leave. Now.

Bellboy: I'll leave, but you'll never see another different bellboy, ever again! Hahahahaha!

Phoenix: Now that he's gone, I can illegally search this room!

Phoenix sees the drawer with the screwdriver sticking out... not Phoenix's screwdriver, pervert!

Phoenix: What happened in my pants? Oh well. Right now, I have to see what's in that drawer.

Phoenix searches the drawer.

Phoenix: A wiretap? I guess I'll stop investigating, even though there's nothing stopping me.


	3. Case 2 1st Court

Judge: Court. Now. Session.

Edgeworth: The prosecution is ready, your honor.

Phoenix: So am I

Judge: Mr. Edgeworth, please start doing that thing you do with the opening statement

Edgeworth: She did it. We've got vague pieces of evidence that'll prove it. The prosecution has no reason to doubt the facts, because if we did, we'd lose. Now let me bring in a hobo.

Gumshoe: Hi!

Judge: Just testify and leave

**Testimony**

Statement 1: The victim, Mia Fey, is dead

Statement 2: I immediately arrested Maya Fey. Why? Because there was a note, written by the victim, saying 'Maya'

Judge: Quickly cross-examine him, Mr. Wright! My corn dog is getting cold.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: The victim, Mia Fey, is dead

Phoenix:**HOLD IT-**How do you know?

Gumshoe: ...I don't know.

Statement 2: I immediately arrested Maya Fey. Why? Because there was a note, written by the victim, saying 'Maya'

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**There's no way that can happen. The autopsy you gave says otherw-

Edgeworth: **OBJECTTION!-**I got an autopsy 2.0 that says it did happen. Now that you've accomplished nothing, Wright, I think I'll call in my next witness, April May.

A pair of breast stood in front of the witness stand

April: Hello everybody! Does anyone want me to jiggle my breast?

Judge: Ms. May, could you just testify, and do your jiggling breast routine after?

April: Sure!

**Testimony**

Statement 1: It was the defendant!

Edgeworth: As you can see, the testimony is perfect

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: It was the defendant!

Phoenix:**HOLD IT-**How do you know?

April: I... noticed her body

Judge: That's hot!

Phoenix: Liar! You should've noticed her cloth first!

April: Rowr!

Phoenix: ...what?

April: I did see her! She hit the woman with the statuey clock.

Phoenix: How did you know it was a clock?

April: I... heard it

Phoenix: Impossible! It's empty!

Judge: Can you prove it was empty before the crime?

Edgeworth: Impossible

Phoenix: I have proof

Edgeworth: WTF!

Phoenix: Its on this pink phone

Judge: Pink? *sigh* Another gay lawyer

Phoenix: Its the recorded conversation that says so!

April suddenly got angry... and for some reason her breast grew

April: The clock doesn't matter!

Judge: Then tell us how you knew, while you take your cloth off

April: …..

Phoenix: I think its because of this!

Phoenix pulls out the wiretap

Judge: A taco!

Phoenix: What? No, its a wiretap that I found in April's room, which I illegally searched. I say that you are de killa!

April: NO! I have proof! The bellboy!

Phoenix: I want to cross-exam this bellboy

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Well I don't want to! Unless you're willing to accept a guilty verdict if you accomplish nothing.

Phoenix: Okay

Edgeworth: Hahahahaha! You've activated my trap card, Yugi!

Phoenix: What?

Edgeworth: I summon Stereotype Bellboy!

The bellboy appeared

Phoenix: Oh yeah! Well I'll just use my best card:Confession

Bellboy: There was a second guest

Judge: Everyone leave and investigate! My corn dog needs to reheat.

**Lobby**

Maya: I like Edgeworth's face

Phoenix: Great. Another Edgeworth fangirl.


	4. Case 2 2nd Investigation

**Detention Center**

April: Someone visiting me? That's really sweet of them.

Guard: I forgot to mention that its a lawyer.

April:GRAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Phoenix: I want you!... to talk about the other guy to me, the guy who put you in jail.

April: NO!

Phoenix: Not even for my attorney badge?

April: …...

**Gatewater Hotel**

Phoenix: Why do images of Richard Nixon appear, every time I come here?

Bellboy: Hello! Let me talk to you about the hotel's reputation about murders, attorneys who get in rooms without permission, and it's only bellboy.

Phoenix: How about we talk about the man with Ms. May.

Bellboy: Oh! That man was yummy! If you show me a photo of him, I'll be a happy man.

Phoenix: No

**Grossberg Offices**

Phoenix: I've successfully passed the secretary, without her noticing!

Meanwhile...

Secretary: What gets wetter as it dries?... *snaps fingers* A towel! Hey, wait a minute!

Phoenix: Hm... the picture of Indiana Jones is gone, and there are two pictures, both women... I'll take this pink, muscular, and manly girl's picture.

**Gatewater Hotel**

Phoenix: Look at this picture

Bellboy: That's him!

Phoenix: Him?

**Detention Center**

Phoenix: Where is he? *points to picture*

April: Would you have sold out Ms. Fey?

Phoenix: Hm... *He goes into a trance*

_Mia: How could you sell me off, Wright! Well, I guess I'll have to ruin your life also, by telling you this... My breast... are... FAKE!_

Phoenix: No

April: See?

Phoenix: Hm... I have no choice, but to show you... THIS!

April: AH! NOT AN ATTORNEY BADGE! HIS NAME'S REDD WHITE! HE'S CEO OF BLUECORP!

**Bluecorp**

Redd: Hellorifurus!

Phoenix: Wha...?

Redd: Whatirius your name?

Phoenix: Phoenix Wright

Redd: Wellwelcomist Mystery Wright!

Phoenix: Isn't that Mr. Grossberg's painting?

Redd: Skedaddle!

**Grossberg Offices**

Grossberg: …

Phoenix: YOU AND REDD WHITE ARE LOVERS! YOU HAD A PICTURE OF HIM ON THE DESK, AND NOW YOU'VE GIVIN' HIM A PICTURE OF INDIANA JONES, TO SHOW YOUR UNDYING LOVE!

Grossberg: ...you're right, except for the painting. I gave that to him because of blackmail. He blackmails me because I snitched on how the police used a spirit medium... also because he's kinky.

Phoenix: Too much information

**Mia and Co. Law Offices**

Phoenix: Let's look at some random files

Phoenix looks at some random files. He reaches the Suicide section of the S folder.

Phoenix: Ooh! Gory newspaper stories. I love reading these type of stories because stories about rape, murders, and suicides, somehow catches my interest... like everyone else's.

Phoenix then notices a pattern

Phoenix: Hey! All of the newspaper are in alphabetic order!

No, Phoenix. The other one

Phoenix: All of them say REDD!

He takes a news article

**Bluecorp**

Phoenix: Look at this news article!

Redd: Soeysoso?

Phoenix: Uhh... LOOK! MY ATTORNEY BADGE!

Redd: You're justa mere lawyeriouse! *punches phoenix*

Phoenix: You (falco) pawnched me!

Redd: Chiefas Prosecuteriouse, I'll be speakifying tommorowes against the murdererus in front of myselfian.

Gumshoe: Hi pal!

**Detention Center**

Maya: I'm going to defend you!

Phoenix: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


	5. Case 2 2nd Court

**Lobby**

Edgeworth: I got a call yesterday. They told me to kill you, no matter what.

Phoenix: Whether its Japan or America, it still seems like the government would allow it. Edgeworth...you've changed.

Edgeworth: I don't care *runs away, crying*

**Court**

Judge: Court's now in session. Edgeworth, your statements that open, please.

Edgeworth: No matter what happens, I'll always find a way to have another witness. I shall now call, Mr. White.

White comes...yuck!

Edgeworth: Your name.

Redd shows off his jewelry

Edgeworth: Er...name?

Redd shows off his jewelry again, Edgeworth asks him again, and the cycle goes on for another 20 minutes.

Edgeworth: One more time... your name?

Redd shows off his jewelry

Phoenix: IT'S REDD WHITE!

Judge: PENALTY!Now please start the testimony.

**Testimony**

Statement 1: Pursusifying I was, but a porcupine attacked the bedlam, who ran, left.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: Pursusifying I was, but a porcupine attacked the bedlam, who ran, left.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**May says she ran to the right.

Judge: I don't understand.

Phoenix: Redd White was *points at floor plans* here!

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**But that's where de killa is!

Phoenix: Exactly!

Redd: But I saw you attack her, break the glass lamp, and killed her!

Phoenix: The lamp couldn't be seen!

Redd then began making some fugly faces. Seriously. Check his sprites.

Phoenix: You're de kil-

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Apparently you've forgotten that I'm a douchebag at this point of time, Wright! Mr. White! Admit that you placed the wiretap! That you came in the office(yuck) and placed the wiretap, seeing the lamp.

Redd: OKAY!

**Testimony**

Statement 1: It was the beginning of September.

Statement 2: I placed the wiretap, stole Mia's scrunchie, and left.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: It was the beginning of September.

Statement 2: I placed the wiretap, stole Mia's scrunchie, and left.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**Mia's scrunchie?

Redd: I have...fetishes.

Phoenix: Oh yeah. Mr. Grossberg told me.

Redd: How dare he!

Phoenix: I've got nothing!

?: (Phoenix!)

Phoenix looks to his right

Phoenix: What the bleep bloop, MIA!

Phoenix dies... metaphorically

**Lobby**

Phoenix: What happened?

Mia: You gave up.

Phoenix: No. I mean how did you drag me out in the middle of court?

Meanwhile...

Judge: What gets wetter, as it dries?

Edgeworth: *sigh* A to-

Judge: DON'T HELP ME!

Mia: Doesn't matter. I have to tell you th-

Phoenix points at her breast

Mia sighed and flashed her breast. Ah, the memories.

**Court**

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: It was the beginning of September.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**Look at the paper!

Redd:NOOOOOOOO!

Edgeworth: You still haven't proven he killed her.

Phoenix: Damn. MIA!

Mia: No! Just blackmail him, okay!

So Phoenix PUBLICLY BLACKMAILS Redd, and he confesses.

Judge: Maya Fey is...

NOT GUILTY

Edgeworth: I'm so angry! And the confetti isn't helping! Why the hell didn't I check the other side! I'm going to release this pressure of... by...

At that moment in time, Gumshoe felt like he's going to live on instant ramen.

**Mia and Co. Law offices**

Maya: Its Wright and Co. now!

Phoenix: Win!

Maya: And I'm helping!

Phoenix: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


	6. Case 3 1st Investigation

I kill you!

I kill YOU!

Tune in next time to see nobody dying.

Maya: That rocked!

Maya gets a broom and starts waving it around like an idiot

Phoenix: Wah! Maya! I told you, no imitating Star Wars!

Maya: Oh! I didn't know you were here!

Phoenix: I was hiding. What was that surreal show that you were watching?

Maya: It's the Steel Samurai! It's really popular with young people and prosecutors!

Phoenix: Young?

Maya: You're old

Phoenix: I don't care *starts crying*

Later that night

Bring... Bring...

Phoenix: What is it Maya?

Maya: It's the Steel Samurai!

Phoenix:...Good night.

Maya: He's been arrested Nick! They say he's de killa! Just come to the office, okay?

**Wright and Co. Law Offices**

Phoenix: Why is the window showing light?

TV: It's the morning news!

Phoenix: Morning? It was just night!

TV: Quiet! The convenient news will tell you about the Will Powers, star of Samurai-something-something, whom is under suspicion of murdering Jack Hammer, the show's protagonist, by stabbing him with a spear of samurai qualities. Oh! I guess we just did! Well, see you next time on Convenient TV News! A branch of Convenient TV!

Phoenix: What a joke. It's a good thing you're sad, Maya. Your frown always cheers me up!

Maya: No! It's terrible!

Bring...

Maya: Hello?...Nick ! It's the Steel Samurai!

Phoenix: DAMN YOU, CONVENIENT TV!

**Detention Center**

Maya sees Will

Maya: He's de killa! You can tell because he's ugly!

Will: I am emotional.

Maya: He's good.

Phoenix: What happened?

Will: Stuff happened. I was asleep then.

Phoenix: A beauty sleep?

Will: No. Global Studio is thataway.

**Studio-Gate**

Oldbag: WADERADAHMEHAGUNOY!

Phoenix: What?

Oldbag: FAHITOMAFEPOWASDIDIT! SNOOPINROUNDYANEEDPERMISHUN!

Phoenix: Screw permission! I have spiky hair!

Gwonam: Here is the map.

Phoenix: This is not a Youtube Poop!

**Outside of Studios**

Gumshoe: Hey, pal! ARGH! PROSECUTER EDGEWORTH IS UPSET, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

Phoenix: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! His sadness pleases me.

Maya: It's your fault!

Gumshoe: Wahahahahaaa! I'm sorry! Here's the autopsy report, and I'll let you go anywhere here!

Phoenix: All right! Let's go in!... It's locked.

Gumshoe: Hahahaha! How funny. I can't wait for you to see how much you fail!

Phoenix: You're mood is swinging an awful lot, Gumshoe. Are you having a man-period?

Gumshoe: Its something all men must walk!

**Employee Area**

Maya: Let's go in Power's room, Nick!

**Dressing Room**

Maya: Look! Its a man-purse!

Phoenix: Same model as mine. Hm? There's a cardkey here.

Maya: Let's steal it!

**Studio One**

Maya: Look! Expensive cameras! Must destroy!

Penny: Oh god, thank you! I was locked in here! How can I ever repay you?

Phoenix: Uh, I have to do something

Phoenix locks Penny in

**Studio-Gate**

Oldbag: GWAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!

Phoenix: She...left.

Maya: Let search the place!

Phoenix got onto the computer, and it printed out a photo.

Maya: Is this supposed to be Will Powers?

Phoenix: I don't know! All I know is that the investigation is over!

Maya: Can we go out for some burgers?

Phoenix: No.


	7. Case 3 1st Court

Judge: Court's now in session, y'all! Give us yo' opening statement, Edgeman!

Edgeworth: This country needs less white men acting black!...Also that Will Powers undoubtedly killed Jack Hammers.

Judge: Yo' first witness, Edgeman!

Edgeworth: I let the hobo back in.

Gumshoe enters

Edgeworth: Would you please tell us what happened, Gumshoe?

Gumshoe: Yes sir! I'll explain usin...

20 minutes later

Gumshoe: Anyone need to hear that again?

Phoenix: N- *accidentally presses 'yes'*

Gumshoe: I knew it be you. Now I'll expl...

20 minutes later

Gumshoe: Anyone need to hear that again?

Phoenix: Damn RPG's making 'yes' on top... no, Gumshoe.

Judge: Spear as a weapon? I would've bust out mah guns, and shoot dat nig-

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**You can't say that word, your honor! Now let's bring out the trash!

Oldbag enters

Edgeworth: Your name, please.

Oldbag: You!... turn me on.

Edgeworth:...excuse me?

Oldbag: Looks like I've made a mess! Care to remove my diaper?

Edgeworth: I... feel... urp! Ogh... oorgh...sick. Just... your testimony.

**Testimony**

Statement 1: I saw-

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**This man is too old to remember anything!

Oldbag:WHARADEMAFUGEH!

**Testimony**

Statement 1: Will sprained his ankle.

Statement 2: And the spear broke.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: Will sprained his ankle.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**What happened?

Oldbag: He fell and he couldn't get up.

Phoenix: You must've liked the irony.

Statement 2: And the spear broke.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**When he fell?

Oldbag: Yup. Any closer to me, and I would've died!

Phoenix: That would've been... sad?

Edgeworth: STFU, Wright! Witness! More testimony!

**Testimony**

Statement 1: No one else passed by.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: No one else passed by.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**Where's the first photo? This photo is photo two!

Judge: Yo' Nick! Did I just hear ya say poor hoe is four toes too?

Phoenix:...I'm just going to ignore you now. Anyway, witness!

Oldbag: I erase photos occasionally. I erased a photo of a boy, because I didn't want people thinkin' I was pedobear... Why is everyone looking at me?

One disturbing 'frisk' search later

Edgeworth: I don't see why I had to do the search.

Phoenix: She wanted you to touch her. Now, witness. Tell us about the boy.

Oldbag: It was a fanboy. Probably to do something...

Phoenix: Something?

Oldbag: He's always mentioning something called fanfictionsdotnet. It sounds pretty stupid to me.

Edgeworth: Indeed.

Suddenly, the bell rings.

Judge: RECESS!

Phoenix: Can't wait to play on the monkey bars!

**Lobby**

Phoenix: I hate government!

**Court**

Phoenix: I guess I have no other choice but... I declare that the windy old bag, is de killa! She's could've erased photos of herself entering the place, with an 'injury'!

Oldbag: GRAHMUKILOPUJUU!

Judge: Got anything to add, man?

Edgeworth: No. I cannot disprove superman's retarded brother's theory.

Phoenix: Just because I wear red and blue, doe-

Edgeworth: Quiet, Harvey Birdman!

Guess what? I just connected three completely different character, by name only!

Oldbag: Wait a minute! There were a bunch of big wigs also.

Phoenix: Not surprisingly, everyone kinda knew that producers would have to do something with murder.

Judge: Bye y'all!


	8. Case 3 2nd Investigation

Maya: I confess my love to you!

Phoenix:...Wrong fanfic, Maya.

**Studio-Gate**

Maya: Nobody's here.

Phoenix: Probably because Oldbag is getting executed.

**Employee Area**

Penny: Why did you locked me in, again?

Phoenix: I got bored and did what I always do, playing Sims... trapping people in rooms, where they die.

Penny: Well, whatever. I covered the drain, using cheap wood and tape. I'm leaving.

Maya: Hey Nick! Let's tear this down, to ruin Penny's work.

Phoenix: Eh, why not?

Maya kicks the cheap wood down, while Penny starts crying

Phoenix: Let's go.

**Dressing Room**

Manella: WTF! Who let joo in?

Maya: I see that you're one of those people with no lives in the internet.

Manella: I'm the great Sal Manella!

Maya: Wha- I'm so sorry!

Manella: It's OK... now that I look at you... oh yeah! Hot, HoT, HOT! Tits, boobs, ass, face! Do you cosplay? Because that costume is sexy!

Maya: Are you drooling?

Manella: Buffer overide ROFL! You've givin' me the idea of makin' the Pink Princess!

Phoenix: Talk or GTFO!

Manella: I was in a meeting noon to 4pm, at studio 2.

Phoenix: Come Maya. Let's explore studio 2.

Manella: LOLZ, joo said 'come'!

**Studio 2 Entrance**

Phoenix: Someone went in that building! Let's get the keys!

**Studio-Gate**

Oldbag: MWAHAHAHAHAHAH! IFUNDJOO! Anyway, I'm not talking to you.

Phoenix: What about that kid th-

Oldbag: If I see him again, I'm taking him down!

Maya: Look at her eyes! That's not fire. It's the need to kill!

Phoenix: What about the director?

Oldbag: If I see him again, I'm taking him down!

Maya: See how there are no pupils in her eyes? That's Chuck Norris's look.

**Employee Area**

Kid: Nye, I'm Cody Hackins

Phoenix: I don't care

Cody: I saw everything, but I'm not gonna tell you!

Cody runs away

Maya: Hey, a bottle!

**Studio-Gate**

Oldbag: Whippasnappa!

Phoenix steals keys

Phoenix: Stealing makes everything better!

**Studio 2 Trailer**

Maya: Someones in here!

?: Names.

Maya: We're lawyers. Who are you?

Vasquez: Dee Vasquez, producer...

Phoenix: Well I was wondering if you knew anything?

Vasquez:...script

Phoenix: We'll get it

Vasquez: If you see Manella, give him this.

Note: YouR aSS Is P0wN3D!

**Dressing Room**

Manella: My aSs iS p0wN3D if I don't get the script!

Pontless search later

Manella: Ass IS UnP0wN3d! Give it to her, pls!

**Studio 2 Trailer**

Vasquez: Ah...

Phoenix:...

Maya:...

Door:...

Vasquez: Nobody here, could've done it. The path was blocked. Monkey fell.

Phoenix: You're very dull. I'm leaving.

**Wright and Co. Law Offices**

Phoenix: I give up.

Mia flashes her breast

Phoenix: Mia!

Mia: Go.

**Studio-Gate**

Oldbag: Let's trade! I'll give you trading cards, if you give me the card you stole from me.

Phoenix: Okay.

**Dressing Room**

Phoenix: Cody!

Cody runs away, until he sees Mia's breast

Phoenix: I'll give you cards for info!'

Cody: Nah

One trivial trade later

Cody: Sure! Here's pictures of Steel Samurai's final blows. I saw Steel Samurai beat the Evil Magistrate.

Gumshoe: Child-abduction time!

Phoenix: Duh?


	9. Case 3 2nd Court

Mia: If you don't win, Power's will DIE!

Phoenix: Great stress-relief.

**Court**

Judge: Wazzup, everybody!

Edgeworth: You're still 'black'? I thought that awful joke ended.

Judge: Shuddup, cracker!

Edgeworth: I like crackers. I shall now call my witness.

Sal enters

Edgeworth: Name and profession.

Manella: j00 don'T kn0w! N00b!

Edgeworth: Did you just call me 'noob'?

Edgeworth glares at him

Manella: S...Sal Manella, director, television.

Judge: Testify, dog!

**Testimony**

Statement 1: I did a run-through.

Statement 2: I skipped lunch, because the meeting, that nobody left.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: I did a run-through.

Statement 2: I skipped lunch, because the meeting, that nobody left.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**No one here believes YOU would skip lunch!

Manella: Ack! I ate during the break we had.

Phoenix: Everybody took a break?

Manella: Oops! ROFL! Uh...guess so.

Phoenix: Your honor! Make Mr. Manella testify on this!

Judge: Ight.

Edgeworth: Mwahahahahahaha!

**Testimony**

Statement 1:Yeah, FWIW(?), we took a break...ROFL! But it was only 15 minutes!

Statement 2: Not enough time to, say, commit murder, LOL!

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1:Yeah, FWIW(?), we took a break...ROFL! But it was only 15 minutes!

Phoenix:**Hold it-**What's 'FWIW'?

Statement 2: Not enough time to, say, commit murder, LOL!

Phoenix:**Hold it-**You didn't answ-

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Shut up! The point is no one could go to studio one.

Phoenix: What!

Edgeworth: Something wrong, Wright? You're not saying someone left studio 2!

Phoenix: Nah.

Edgeworth: I guess you're realizing the truth!

Judge: Hafazuwa?

Edgeworth: The path was blocked by a giant monkey's head!

Judge: That makes sense. Da Cout's thought are: Will Smith did it, but there's no decisive evidence.

Edgeworth: Actually, the prosecution has decisive evidence.

Judge: We'll continue after the commercials.

10 minutes later

Judge: I'm back y'all!

Edgeworth: The prosecution worries the defense might traumatize the witness.

Phoenix: Mom was right. I scare children.

Edgeworth: Fortunately, I don't care. I call my witness to the stand.

Cody enters

Edgeworth: Name and grade!

Cody:...

Edgeworth slams his desk

Cody: What? You suck!

Edgeworth: Mrph!

Mia: ANSWER HIS DAMN QUESTION!

Cody: It's the nice lady! Cody Hackins, 2nd grade!

Judge: Be nice, dog!

Edgeworth: P-Please testify.

**Testify**

Statement 1: I saw the S.S. Beat the E.M. Too bad I didn't bring my camera.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: I saw the S.S. Beat the E.M. Too bad I didn't bring my camera.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**You always bring your camera!

Cody: Well...I had my camera, but I didn't use it. I was watching the S.S. defeat the E.M.!

Phoenix: And you missed the climax, trying to take a picture!

Cody: Yeah...but I erased 'em.

Phoenix: Lair! You always keep pictures of S.S. winning!...fudge.

Judge: Why'd he erase 'em?

Phoenix: The S.S. didn't win! He lied because 'HE COULDN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!'

Cody: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Wright: The S.S. was the victim! Jack Hammer was the S.S.!

Cody: I get it. Here's a picture!

Phoenix: The picture shows studio 2! People were there! Jack also stole the suit!

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Proof!

Phoenix:**Take that-**Sleeping pills! Jack drugged Will! Take fingerprints!

Judge: I'll extend the case. Court's dismissed!


	10. Case 3 3rd Investigation

Phoenix: How 'bout showin' me them breast, Mia.

Maya: What?

Phoenix: Wha... oh! Maya! Uh, what was I saying?...This is our last day on this case, because of the "initial trial".

Maya: "initial trial"?

Phoenix: Yeah. The country's crime rate has gone so high, stereotypical black guys are become more afraid of us.

**Courthouse**

Judge is hiding in the bathroom

Judge: Them crackers are out to get me!

Suddenly the door opened. The one who opened it was covered in red.

Judge: !

**Back at the office**

Phoenix: That's weird. I get the feeling the judge was attacked by a box of Ritz Crackers.

Maya: I love Ritz!

Phoenix: And so does the world, Maya. Let's get some after the investigation.

Maya: Yayz!

**Studio-Gate**

Oldbag:...

Phoenix: Can I have donuts?

Oldbag: …...You eat, you die.

Phoenix: ?

**Employee Room**

Gumshoe: I'm investigating the plates!

Phoenix: They must really not like you, to send you, and not a forensic investigator.

Gumshoe: Shut up! The victim's fingerprints were on the bottle, and there was sleeping pills used on the plate.

**Dressing Room**

Penny: Hey.

Phoenix: RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! WHY DON"T YOU STAY AT ONE SPOT! YOU'VE WERE IN STUDIO ONE, THEN THE DRESSING ROOM, THEN THE GATE, THEN THE TRAILER, AND NOW YOU'RE HERE!

Penny: The studio is hiding that JH accidentally killed a man.

Phoenix: DON'T IGNORE ME! RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Phoenix suddenly felt a bit energy build inside him...

**Studio-Gate**

Oldbag: You gots no proof!

Phoenix: Oh chest I do!

One courtroom battle later

Oldbag: I see. You've done bad, Hammer. Let me tell you abou-

Phoenix: Pass

Oldbag: Fine! Take this photo then!

**Studio 2 Entrance**

Vasquez: Clouds.

Phoenix: Look at this picture.

Vasquez: Where

Phoenix: Oldbag

Vasquez: Oh

Phoenix: Yup

Vasquez: I see

Phoenix:...well...I say you hid the murder, in order to control Jack Hammer!

Vasquez: This interests me. Come inside.

**Studio 2 Trailer**

Vasquez: Now what was it you wanted to talk about?

Phoenix: I don't know. Something about flowers?

Vasquez: Yes. You said how it was me who blackmailed Jack Powers, for killing a man, thus, lending me full control.

Phoenix:...sure.

Vasquez: There was a photo taken by a hiding reporter, but Mrs. Oldbag jumped on him, to get the photo. The photo you have is the only copy in the world. Give me photo.

Mario: NO!

Vasquez: BOYS!

4 guys, quickly appeared!

Phoenix: Ack! Where'd they come from?

Vasquez: They were hiding behind the door, for no reason at all. Now attack, my pretties!

Maya: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gumshoe: **Hold it**!

1 courtroom battle later

Gumshoe: You're coming down to the precint, now!

And so Dee Vasquez leaves, along with her henchmen, who could kill everybody in a second.

Phoenix: Thanks Gumshoe!

Gumshoe: No problem...

Phoenix: What is it?

Gumshoe: You gonna get Ritz?

BONUS!

Some space is left, so here are more words!

**Next Time...**

Judge: Edge man! Save me from these crackers!

Edgeworth: Crackers? Yes, I'd rather enjoy a snack.

Judge: You're ignoring me!

Phoenix: Honk!


	11. Case 3 3rd Court

Judge:...everyone...everyone who's a cracker is out ta' git me.

Phoenix and Edgeworth: We're ready.

Judge:...Edgeworth...your opening statement.

Edgeworth: I will reveal the truth, using a witness. I will now sit back quietly, while Wright does all the work.

Phoenix: I hate you.

Dee Vasquez enters

Edgeworth: State your name.

Vasquez:...Dee Vasquez

Edgeworth: Holy *beep*! You actually answered on the first time!...ahem. Would you please testify about the day of the murder?

**Testimony**

Statement 1: Something, something, meeting. 2:15, we had T-bone steaks for lunch.

Statement 2: That's it.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: Something, something, meeting. 2:15, we had T-bone steaks for lunch.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**You did NOT eat steak! No bones were left behind. How did you get rid of them? By feeding it to Sal!

Judge: What was she doin' 'en?

Phoenix: Meeting the Steel Samurai, of course! To kill!

Vasquez: You say I killed him? Remember that the murder weapon is too heavy for me.

Phoenix: Good thing the Samurai Spear is NOT the murder weapon!

Vasquez: Then what is the murder weapon?

Edgeworth: Just a reminder Wright: There are no clock-statues in this case.

Phoenix: It's a fence!

Vasquez: You really think I moved the body to Studio One, and left him in the evil magistrate costume?

Phoenix: Yes. You used your slave, Sal, to drive the van over there.

Vasquez:...all right. You win, I lose.

Phoenix: Sweet!

Vasquez: Sike! You have no decisive evidence.

Phoenix: Damn.

Judge: Any thoughts, Edge dog?

Edgeworth: Can I call a new witness?

Judge: Hell, no.

Phoenix: Oh god, I'm screwed! Waaaaaaahhh!

Judge: I'm leavin' for some KFC. Da court will end.

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**...

Judge: Yeah?

Edgeworth: I was hoping to come up with a question, while I objected. I didn't, so please wait...okay. Got it. **OBJECTION!-**I'd like the witness to testify about AFTER they found the body.

Maya: Why did Edgeworth do that, Nick?

Phoenix: He's either having a moral crises, or maybe he's just setting up a plan to make himself a bigger prick. Either way, I'll take this chance.

**Testimony**

Statement 1: I left to Studio One, saw the body, everyone blamed Powers, and I returned for the scripts.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1: Words!(sorry but copy & paste stopped working and its irritating to write the same thing)

Phoenix:**Hold it-**You went to a rehearsal without it?

Vasquez: There was a murder.

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**I object.

Phoenix: Huh?

Edgeworth: Think!

Phoenix: Okay. Think, THINK!...BRAIN BLAST! She would have known there was a murder!

Vasquez: I have a good reason, though. I knew Hammer had an injury.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**Hammer wasn't injured. It was Powers!

Vasquez: Wh-What!

Phoenix: Now, why did you think it was Hammer? Because you saw him limping!

Vasquez: Enough! Let me ask YOU a question. Why would I kill Hammer?

Phoenix: Because you've been blackmailing him, all these years!

Judge: You make it sound like Mr. Hammer killed Ms. Vasquez!

Phoenix: That's because he tried! And Ms. Vasquez killed him...in self-defense!

Judge: Defendant is

**NOT GUILTY**

**Lobby**

Edgeworth: You gave me unnecessary feelings.

Phoenix: Gay!


	12. INTERMISSION

**INTERMISSION**

We're halfway done! With school starting for me, I wanted to do something different. Here's the Gyakuten Saiban TGS in 500 words(check youtube for original).

**9/17/2005-Special Court**

Judge:Well, let the trial begin

Phoenix:The defense is ready

Edgeworth:The prosecution as well

Judge:It seems the atmosphere is more...excited, today

Maya:Yeah! It's like people are reading about us!

Edgeworth:Apologies to the readers, but today's case is of no importance. The victim, Detective Gumshoe, will take the stand.

Gumshoe:Whadaya mean "no importance"! My juicy meat was eaten by...her!

Maya:Me?

Gumshoe:I saw you put it in your mouth! I was planning on eating and sucking on that meat!

Phoenix:Suspected again, Maya?

Maya:I'm testifying!

Gumshoe:FEED ME!

**Testimony**

Statement 1:It was September 15 at noon, and I was playing Gyakuten Saiban.

Statement 2:Edgeworth was also in the waiting room, glancing enviously in my direction. I bet he was jealous of my game!

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Whatisthis! I mean...I absolutely own Gyakuten Saiban, and I enjoy it regularly!

Judge:Now, now. Let's stick to the case. If the testimony is true, then you're a witness.

Edgeworth:...indeed, I saw her. Unfortunately, she can NOT be trusted!

Maya:Eh?

Edgeworth:The game you were playing was not Gyakuten Saiban! I have my game in my back pocket. The object Maya was holding was not that game!

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**Edgeworth! You have a Gameboy SP!

Edgeworth:How is that relevant?

Phoenix:Maya was holding THIS!

Edgeworth:What is that!

Phoenix:Its a Nintendo DS, bitch!

Edgeworth:WHAT!

Phoenix:They just re-released GS!

Everyone in court realize how lame, Edgeworth is.

Phoenix:There goes Edgeworth's fanbase.

Maya:And what's up with the pink SP?

Edgeworth:I have a feminine side!

Judge:Seems the defendant has an alibi.

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Why does the thing have TWO screen!

Phoenix:You'll see.

Edgeworth:Second! This system is suspiciously large. It doesn't even fit in my back back pocket!

Phoenix:The SP's user guide says "Do not put in back pocket"! The size does not matter!(That what he said)

Judge:Edgeworth will now stop spamming his back pocket.

Edgeworth:Damn! It was a good strategy! In any case, it doesn't matter. The question is, when? The court took place in the 14th and 15th!

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**The game was released in the 15th! This ad is proof!

Edgeworth:How did you counter me so fast?

Phoenix:The 2nd screen!

Judge:There was a deep meaning to the two screen, huh?

Edgeworth:Unfortunately, you've forgotten one thing. When I saw Maya, she was screaming **OBJECTION! **out loud! It was a trick to fool everyone!

Everyone:...

Edgeworth:What's with the painful silence?

Phoenix: The DS has a microphone! You can yell **OBJECTION! **out loud to advance!

Edgeworth:Impossible!

Judge:It seems the witness is innocent.

Gumshoe:Hold it! What about my juicy meat?

Phoenix: You saw a girl, resembling Maya, from the back, right? Could it be...

Shows picture of Ema Skye

Gumshoe:YES! It was her!

Edgeworth:You know the culprit?

Phoenix:If you buy the game, you'll understand.

Maya:I have it!

Judge:So do I!

Everyone shows their DS, including you

Judge: I find Edgeworth

**G-U-I-L-T-Y**

Judge:Buy the game.

Edgeworth:As if I had a choice

Ema:Let's all scientifically exclaim Objection!

Gumshoe:MY MEAT!


	13. Case 4 1st Investigation

Gyakuten Kenji 2! WOW! I can't wait to spoof that one...in 2 years.

?:It's been 15 years. You can't imagine how much I...suffered.

?:What?

?:Merry Christmas.

?:I'm an atheist.

*bang*

*splash*

Edgeworth, holding the gun, is shocked. Picture- 0-0

**Wright and Co. Law Offices**

Maya:Is there a waterfall here?

Phoenix:No. Just Gourd Lake.

Maya:Imma go in the shower!

TV:A monster is found at Gourd Lake!

Phoenix:Boring!.

Maya:Imma go to the fire department!

TV:Murder at Gourd Lake!

Phoenix:This lady sounds like a creepy man...

TV:The suspect is Miles Edgeworth. Thanks for watching Stalker TV. And remember...we're watching you.

Phoenix:WHAT!

Maya:You heard about STV, huh? Rumors say a Cravat of Doom had something to do with it.

Phoenix:Never mind! Edgeworth been arrested for murder!

**Detention Center**

Edgeworth comes in, sees Phoenix, and runs away.

Phoenix:Come back!

Edgeworth:So you've come here to laugh at me, huh? Well? Laugh!

Phoenix:Okay!

20 minutes of crying later

Phoenix:We'll help!

Edgeworth:NO! You suck! You've only won because of Mia! You need skilz! Now leave! I'd never ask you to defend me!

**Lake Entrance**

Gumshoe:Hey, pal! They got a witness! Also, why aren't you defending him?

Phoenix:He hates me.

Gumshoe:Bullcrap! You should've heard him later! He kept saying "Wright,Wright,Wright"!

Phoenix:I am even more convinced of his homosexuality.

Gumshoe:I'm leaving. Visit me later,pal!

**Lake Beach**

Maya:Poppers in my pocket and...

**Camp Site**

Maya:POP,POP,POP!

*klik,klik,klik*

?:Dammit, girl! Ya ruined the roll! Don't ya play stupid wit' me! Just because I'm southern, don't mean I ain't smart, like y'all!

Phoenix:LOOK AT MY BADGE!

?:You an attorney? Better not try ta' get rid of my slaves!

Phoenix:Slaves?...no, we're here for a murder.

Lotta:I'm Lotta. Takin' picture is what I do.

Phoenix:Do you have pictures of the murder?

Lotta:I'll check!

Maya:Let's git' the hell out of here!

**Police Department**

Gumshoe:Here's the autopsy.

**Camp Sit**e

Lotta:Here are vague photos. I'm leaving to tell I'm a witness!

**Lake Beach**

Santa:Long time no see, Nick.

Phoenix:So. You survived my dad's gun, 19 years ago, did you?

Larry:What? No, its me, Larry!

Phoenix:Even worse. The trial tomorrow is for Edgeworth.

Larry:What! You don't mean Edgey, do you?

Maya:You know him?

Larry:We were in the same class.

Maya: !

Larry:He always wanted to be a defense attorney!

Maya:But he's the opposite...tell me about 'Gourdy'!

Larry:My penis?

Maya:The monster!

Larry:Here's an article.

Maya:Nick! I just realized I once saw the victim in Mr. Grossberg's office!

Phoenix:Oh god

**Grossberg's Office**

Phoenix:Quick! Tell about Mr. Hammond!

Grossberg:He was a lawyer who defended the suspect of Mr. Edgeworth's murder in the DL-6 case.

Maya:You helped my mom, right?

Grossberg: , sure.

Phoenix:Let's leave! His sweat is beginning to flood!

**Detention Center**

Edgeworth:GOD DAMMIT! LEAVE ME ALONE!

Phoenix: DL-6

Edgeworth:I'll tell you everything.

Minutes later

Phoenix:That's it? It didn't help at all. We'll help you anyway...jerk.

~~~~~~EARHTQAUKE!~~~~

Phoenix:That was awesome! How are you, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth can be heard sobbing

**Police Department**

Gumshoe:Got a new witness, pal! She's a stupid southerner!

Phoenix:Hurrah?

I have nothing against southern people. Lotta is just a stereotype.


	14. Case 4 1st Court

Phoenix:Karma?

Edgeworth:Correct. It's a concept, believed by the Hindus...he's also my mentor. He hasn't lost a case in his 40-year-long career.

Phoenix:And he chose to prosecute you?

Edgeworth:Imagine my douchiness times ten. That's how much of a dick he is.

Phoenix:Oh my god!

**Trail**

Judge:The trial has begun.

Phoenix:The defense is ready.

Karma:...

Judge:...ready?

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**...Why wouldn't I be?

Judge:My apologies! Could you tell your opening statement?

Karma:...perfect.

Judge:...your first witness?

Gumshoe enters

Karma:Testify...NOW!

**Testimony**

Statement-1:A call came in for Lake Gourd.

Statement-2:Mr. Edgeworth was found near the murder.

Statement-3:We then arrested Edgeworth.

Karma:Begin your Cross-examination...NOW!

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-1:A call came in for Lake Gourd.

Statement-2:Mr. Edgeworth was found near the murder.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**Any clues?

Gumshoe:Just a bullet.

Statement-3:We then arrested Edgeworth.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**Why?

Gumshoe:Murder weapon had Edgeworth's right-hand fingerprints.

Karma:Did the bullet come the gun?

Gumshoe:Ballistic marking prove it.

Maya:What's 'ballistic markings'?

Karma:RAAUGH!...perfect.

Maya:Nick! Help!

Phoenix:Maya! In case you haven't realized, this case is so serious, that making jokes would waste space!

Judge:Ballistic markings are-

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**I'll call my next witness, after a ten-minute recess.

**Lobby**

Edgeworth:I'm SO not going to have enough time to eat this corndog!

Phoenix:I'm sure there's enough time to-

Edgeworth:No Wright! It's impossible!

**Court**

Karma:I've finished eating my corndog. Let's continue.

Lotta Hart enters

Karma:Explain the events...NOW!

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I reckon it was Christmas Eve, after midnight, when suddenly a *bang* came.

Statement-2:Looked out an' found two gents. I heard another *bang*.

Statement-3:It was Edgeworth.

Karma:Enough! My ship sails in the morning! Before I wonder what's for dinner, here's the picture, the witness took. As you can see, only the defendant, could have done it!

Judge:Agreed. I declare the defendant-

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**What about my Cross-examination!

Karma:What about it?

Phoenix:!

Karma:Fine! But if you only ask meaningless questions, I'll hold you in contempt!

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-1:I reckon it was Christmas Eve, after midnight, when suddenly a *bang* came.

Phoenix:**Hold it-A**fter midnight? Wouldn't that be...CHRISTMAS!

OH MY GOD! GREATEST CONTRADICTION!

Karma:It should be illegal to be this stupid...**OBJECTION!**

Phoenix:Neh?

Judge:Another outburst, and out you go! I declare-

Maya:**Hold it-**Did you really see Edgeworth that night, Lotta?

Judge:Mr. Wright!

Maya:It was me!

Karma:What's the difference? All's that's left is the guilty verdict.

Phoenix:Wrong! She said she CLEARLY saw Edgeworth! I demand testimony!

Karma:But he's in contempt!

Maya:No, I am! Arrest me!

Judge:Very well. Maya Fey...get the hell out.

**Testimony/Cross-Examination**

Statement-1-and-only:I sawhit.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**The camera can't see their faces, so how can you!

Lotta:Er, Soviet Russia?

Phoenix:I don't believe you! I think you were searching for Gourdy!

Lotta:Yeah...so what?

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**Exactly!

Lotta:I was only lookin' at the boat!

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**Really? What about Gourdy?

Lotta:...*sigh*It's obvious I didn't see nothin'. At least the photo's-

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**It doesn't matter!

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**Lotta! Didn't you enlarge this photo! Why haven't you shown it, yet? SHOW IT!

Lotta:Here!

Karma:Nothing! Happy, now?

Phoenix:NO! The shooter contradicts Edgeworth's fingerprints! Ergo(sweet), his hand! It couldn't have been Edgeworth!

Judge:But who shot the victim?

Phoenix:The victim!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**Impossible. The bullet came a meter away!

Judge:I'll extend this court, using Viagra.

**Lobby**

Edgeworth:Tell Maya...she deserved to GTFO the court!

189wordwereremoved!


	15. Case 4 2nd Investigation

Phoenix:Maya!

Maya:Nick! I'm glad Edgeworth is still okay.

Phoenix:He told you to STFU.

Maya:...I am sad.

Phoenix:Did they question you?

Maya:No. They'll let me out after questioning...after you pay bail.

**Camp Site**

Phoenix: *breath harshly* I think that's far enough from Maya.

Gumshoe:Hey, pal! I'm here for-

Phoenix:HERE! Take my money, jerk!

Gumshoe:I was telling you that I was investigating. Anyway, I'll tell you that von Karma is bringing in...get ready...another witness!

Phoenix:Shocking!

Gumshoe:Anyway, Edgeworth paid Maya's bail in full, so she'll be out soon.

**Detention Center**

Maya:The paperwork's done! I'm free to go! Thanks for paying bail! For a moment, I thought you abandoned me, but you care, don't you?

Phoenix:Uh, sure! The bail was paid by generous ol' me! Now, let's go.

**Camp Entrance**

Lotta:HOWDY Y'ALL!

Phoenix:Oh god, no!

Lotta:I've got info! But, you need to find Gourdy, first!

Phoenix:Find Gourdy? But that would mean neglecting Edgeworth!...on second thought.

Maya:Let's go, Nick! We've better things to do than help Mr. STFU!

**Lake Beach**

Phoenix:What the hell is that?

Maya:It's the Steel Samurai!

Larry:Yo!

Phoenix:Oh god, no!

Larry:You see the Steel Samurai? That was Kiyance's idea! She was all 'duuuh' and gave me it!

Phoenix:Was that always there?

Larry:Yeah! Not yesterday, though. The...compressor was broken. How 'bout some Samurai Dogs!

**Police Department**

Phoenix:*breath harshly* I think that's far enough from Larry.

Gumshoe:Hey, Pal! How's your-

Phoenix:HERE! Take my money, fudgesicle!

Gumshoe:...investigation, going on?

Maya:We're looking for Gourdy!

Gumshoe:What! Mr. Edgeworth puts his trust into you, and you're out looking for penises?

Phoenix:No! Look, here's the situation.

The Situation:Sup!

Gumshoe takes out his gun and proceeds to shoot 'The Situation'

Gumshoe:Law says we must shoot all men and women, dropping the world population's IQ.

Phoenix:Here's the problem...too many toasters! Also we need to find Gourd, in order to help Edgeworth.

Gumshoe:When you put it that way...get out.

**Outside Boat Shop**

Maya: *breath harshly* I think that's far enough from the police.

Phoenix:Hey, Maya!

Maya:HERE! Take my stolen items, you cameldick!

Phoenix gets a metal detector, swallowed by a dog, hung on a fishing pole

Missile:Arf!

Phoenix:What the hell?

The metal detecting dog lure started barking/beeping at the bush

Phoenix:Maya! Check that bush!

Maya looks and finds an air tank

Phoenix:An air tank?

Maya:I thought it was Gourdy.

Phoenix:As much as I want to slap you for the WORST idea for Gourdy's hiding place, I have to slap a couple of idiots, now.

**Lake Beach**

Larry:Ow!

**Camp Site**

Lottta:HOWD- Ow!

Phoenix:Here's Gourdy! And I'll take that photo!

**Boat Shop**

Uncle:Meg! Keith! Welcome!

Maya:How'd we end in here?

Phoenix:It's obvious that the other witness, lives here.

Uncle:Let's talk about noodles! Long, thick noodles.

Phoenix:Let's not...We'll be leaving now.

Polly:Don't forget about DL-6!

Phoenix:We won't!

**Police Department**

Phoenix:Gumshoe! We need to know more on DL-6.

Gumshoe:Gotcha! Just don't take anything, okay!

**Records Room**

Phoenix:Let's steal the file and get the fudge out!

**Later that night**

Phoenix: Mom? Today, Maya called me a cameldick! A cameldick! How did she even come up with that?


	16. Case 4 2nd Court

Edgeworth:Can we hurry this up, Wright? I have to work on my 2nd game.

Wright:I know what you mean. I have to work with Professor Layton in this crossover we're doing.

Edgeworth:What?

**Court**

Karma:Today's trial will in end in 40 words! Here's the witness!

Uncle:Wha?

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**Testify!

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I was home, when I heard a BANG!

Statement-2:A man walked by.

Karma:No need to cross-examine. There's nothing wrong. Your verdict now, Judge!

Judge:Well, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix:I'll cross-exam him anyway.

Karma:RAAAUUUGHHH! More than 40 words!

**Cross-examination**

Statement-1:I was home, when I heard a BANG!

Statement-2:A man walked by.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**Did you see him?

Uncle:It was Stewie!

Karma:**OBJECTION!**

Uncle:It was Edgeworth!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**Your verdict now, Judge!

Phoenix:We're screwed.

Judge:I hereby declare Miles Edgeworth...

**G-U-I-L-T-Y**

Judge:The accused will now be publicly executed.

Larry:WAIT!

Phoenix:We're screwed!

Larry:I was there! You need to hear me out!

Karma:**OBJECTION!**-No.

Phoenix:We have to, your honor!

Judge:Duh, all right. First, a recess.

**Lobby**

Edgeworth:I've done some research, and I say your crossover is a hoax! Why would you be doing 'witch trials'! This isn't the 19th century!

Phoenix:I see dead people, so I don't find it THAT weird.

**Court**

Judge:Please testify what you saw...SAW 3D!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**No more sequels! Who cares if its in 3D? And why enter 3D in the title? It's stupid! Back in my day-

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I was in a boat, then I heard a BANG!

Statement-2:Nothing was in the lake, so I left after one gunshot.

Phoenix gulps down a Double Gulp

**Cross-examination**

Statement-1:I was in a boat, then I heard a BANG!

Statement-2:Nothing was in the lake, so I left after one gunshot.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**There were TWO gunshots, Larry!

Larry:I might've been listening to the radio.

Crowd:BOO!

Judge:What will you do?

Larry:I'll testify again!

Phoenix:We're SCREWED!

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I'm sure I heard that gunshot!

Statement-2:I even heard the DJ's voice!

**Cross-examination**

Statement-1:I'm sure I heard that gunshot!

Statement-2:I even heard the DJ's voice!

Phoenix:**Hold it-**What did he say?

Judge:Should we even care?

Phoenix:Hell yeah!

Karma:Why?

Phoenix:Because!

Statement-3:She said "Hey! It's almost Christmas!"

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**The gunshots were heard AFTER midnight!

Judge:So?

Phoenix:The others said AFTER midnight!

Judge:What does this mean? Double rainbow, oh my god!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**Nothing! The witness is mistaken.

Phoenix:He heard it!

Karma:Prove it!

Phoenix:This picture! There's nothing in the lake, yet the photo exists! This means two sets off gunshots were made, 25 minutes apart!

Judge:What happened then?

Phoenix:Stuff happened!

Judge:It all suddenly makes sense now...wait! No it doesn't!

Phoenix carefully explains, this time

Judge:I see. Bailiff! Bring in the boat caretaker!

Bailiff:He's gone!

Judge:Well go find him! For now, we must extend this court to tomorrow, the final day. Court Dismissed!

**Lobby**

Edgeworth:I have to confess something to you, Wright. I paid Shu Takumi to drop you and to move to other characters. When you told me about your crossover game, I researched and saw Takumi was working on it. In a fit of rage, I stopped your game's localization.

Phoenix:You WHAT?

Edgeworth:I also have this nightmare-

Phoenix:Shut up! I hate you!

Phoenix runs to fix the problem


	17. Case 4 3rd Investigation

Maya:Where's Nick! It's been a whole month!

Larry:He's abandoned you. Looks like you'll have to live with me...naked.

Phoenix:Sup.

Larry:Damn!

Maya:Nick! Tell us about you, Larry, and Edgeworth's past, and why you became a lawyer!

_FLASHBACK!_

_It was 4th grade, and some kid lost his lunch money. They all thought I did it. They called me names like:_

_Fudgesicle!_

_Jerk!_

_Cameldick!_

_We later had a class trial because...it's for the plot. The trial went a little like:_

_Fudgesicle!_

_Jerk!_

_Cameldick!_

_I had absolutely no idea why a 'trial' was necessary, when everyone was still an asshole. Then..._

_OBJECTION!-There's no proof, so STFU!_

_Edgeworth objected and..._

_I just took a dump!_

_Larry...somehow helped. And that's how it happened._

Maya:That's the lamest reason to become a lawyer, I've ever heard!

Phoenix:Anyway, Edgeworth later moved, because his dad died. Years later, I heard he was a 'demon' prosecutor. He wouldn't answer my calls, so I became a lawyer, to see him.

Maya: Scratch the lame part. That's the GAYEST reason to become a lawyer!

Phoenix:You know what? It is! And you know what else? This game's been pushing me and Edgeworth, a little 'too' close...oh crap! We've wasted 205 words! Let's go!

**Outside Boat Shop**

?:I'm a fat man!

Phoenix:Fat? OH NOES!

Grossberg:Ever notice my name sounds like 'Gross Burger'?

Phoenix:I assume that's your diet.

Grossberg:I'll be leaving now. If you need me-

Phoenix:We won't.

**Boat Shop**

Phoenix:Maya! Open that safe!

Maya:Stealing makes everything better!

Phoenix:These are instructions on how to murder that guy!

**Detention Center**

Maya:Nick told me about your guy's past, the reason he become a defense attorney!

Edgeworth:Pretty gay, I know.

Phoenix:Look who's talking Mr. 'you gave me me unnecessary feelings'! Anyway, here's a letter.

Edgeworth:Dear Pesky Plumbers-

Phoenix:Whoops! Wrong one.

Edgeworth:Revenge? I guess he's Yanni Yogi. It would appear my nightmares of me, murdering my father, are true.

Phoenix:Yeah probably. If only we knew someone who knew about DL-6.

Maya:Wait! We do Nick!

Phoenix:Please don't tell me it's...

**Grossberg Offices**

Phoenix:NOOOOOO!

Maya:Listen to what happened!

Maya tells Grossberg about Edgeworth's dream

Grossberg:I'm going to be unsupportive and say the dream is real and you guys are screwed.

Phoenix:Oh yeah? Well **Take that**!

Grossberg:I've seen this handwriting before...it's from von Karma! I guess he's still pissed off from that penalty, Gregory caused. He took his only vacation then. You better go to the police files.

**Records Room**

Phoenix:VON KARMA!

Karma:How do you know me?

Phoenix:Sweet! He's gone senile!

Karma:**OBJECTION!**

Maya:Mr. Edgeworth was your student, right?

Phoenix:Which reminds me. Why did you take Edgeworth, son of your rival?

Karma:That...is none of your business.

***BAM***

***Chains Rattling***

***DA-DA-DA-DA-DA***

**5 psyche-locks ap-oh wait. We don't have the magatama yet. Oh well. I guess we'll never know.**

Phoenix:Here's your letter, jerk!

Karma:It's tazing time!

Maya:NO!

***Zap***

Maya lied unconscious

Phoenix:Maya...MAYAAAAAAA!

Phoenix felt more energy, in his body

Karma:Oh no you don't!

***Zap***

Phoenix lied unconscious. He woke up, a few minutes later.

Maya:Nick...I'm a failure.

Phoenix:Glad you finally realized.

Phonix retrieved the DL-6 bullet


	18. Case 4 3rd Court

Edgeworth:...

***ZAP***

Edgeworth:HOLY S%T! WHAT THE F&$K! GET THE HELL OUT MAYA!

Maya runs away

Phoenix:I guess Maya 'shocked' you.

Edgeworth gets a piece of paper, and hands it to Phoenix.

Phoenix:$500?

Edgeworth:It's a fine for making a god-awful pun.

Phoenix:Well, I guess I'll be 'fine' anyway.

Edgeworth:...anyways, I have to tell you something.

Phoenix:Yeah, yeah, you're gay. The game's been hinting on that for a while now.

Edgeworth:I'm not gay! *sigh* I'm going to tell you this: You're not going to win.

Phoenix:Huh?

Edgeworth:The only person ever, NEAR defeating von Karma, was my father, and you're not near the skilled level.

Phoenix:I can try-

Edgeworth:The only thing von Karma feared was a Super Bengoshi!

Phoenix:What?

Edgeworth: No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't transform. I guess there's a reason there haven't been any Super Bengoshis for centuries.

Phoenix:...

**Court**

Judge:Court's-

Karma:I call my first witness.

Uncle enters

Karma: Now testify...

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I am ,in no way, sorry that I left that court.

Statement-2:I have nothing to do with this case, anway.

**Cross-examination**

Statement-1:I am ,in no way, sorry that I left that court.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**Is it true you lost your memory?

Uncle:Yup

Phoenix:LIAR!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**STFU!

Statement-2:I have nothing to do with this case, anyway.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**I say you do have something to do with it!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**STFU!

Judge:Does his memory matter?

Phoenix:Yes, because he's Yanni Yogi!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**Prove it!

Maya:Think carefully on how to prove it, Nick. Don't do anything-

Phoenix: I call the parrot!

Maya:-stupid.

The parrot arrives

**Testimony**

Statement-1:*squawk*

Statement-2:Hello!

**Cross-examination**

Statement-1:*squawk*

Phoenix:GOD DAMMIT! I'M TIRED OF YOUR LIES! Do you really want to hide the truth?

Polly(Apollo):...you're right. I'll tell everything.

A few minutes later...

Yogi Bear:Well, I guess there no use in denying it. I killed for revenge. So much for my movie.

Judge: I declare, Miles Edgeworth,

**NOT GUILTY**

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**I object to your judgment! Remember, Yogi killed for revenge. Revenge for what, though? Revenge for my murder of my father!

Judge:I'm gonna need a moment.

**Lobby**

Edgeworth:Sorry to waste your efforts, Wright.

Phoenix:I'm still going to defend you.

Edgeworth:Why?

Wright:To piss you off.

**Court**

Judge:I have finish taking a dump. Let's begin.

**Testimony**

Statement-1:My father, me and Yogi, were trapped in the elevator.

Statement-2:The two started fighting, so I threw a gun, which shot a single bullet.

**Cross-examination**

Statement-1:My father, me and Yogi, were trapped in the elevator.

Statement-2:The two started fighting, so I threw a gun, which shot a single bullet.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**There were TWO bullets, jerk!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**It's possible the second bullet was shot earlier, making it irrelevant.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**There's a bullet hole in the door!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**The bullet was never found investigation'. It doesn't exist!

Phoenix:I...have nothing.

Karma:Seem you've lost.

Phoenix:I've failed you Edgeworth.

Phoenix then sees a flash of Mia (no pun intended)

Mia:Don't give up! You can do it! All you need is a boost! Become a Super Bengoshi! Focus your trust and transform!

Phoenix:Super Bengoshi...*sigh* I'll try anything at this point.

Phoenix focused all his trust into one, and at that moment, something happened...


	19. Case 4 FINALE

Phoenix transformed into a Super Bengoshi!

Phoenix:Sweet! I'm glowing, and my hair is spikier!

Edgeworth:WHAT! How could YOU of all people become a Super Bengoshi!

Phoenix:I dunno. My thoughts are clearer and faster, though.

Karma:Stalling will not save you, or your wild fantasies of non-existent bullets.

Mia:It exists! The killer had to take it!

Judge:If there's no further objections, I'll announce my verdict.

Phoenix:Wait, your honor! The bullet! It exists!

Judge:What!

Phoenix:The murderer took it!

Judge:Why would he?

Mia:He had to take it!

Phoenix:He HAD to take it!

Judge:Had to take it?

Phoenix:Uh, yeah! For instance...he could've been shot?

The court was silent

Phoenix:I must look stupid, especially since I'm glowing.

Judge:That would mean the murderer came from the outside!

Phoenix:Yeah, sure.

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**No one was wounded!

Maya:Hey Nick! What if Mr. von Karma was the murderer? That'd be SO convenient, wouldn't it?

Judge:You've given us the possibility of an outside murderer, Mr. Wright. Announce your suspects.

Phoenix:There's only one suspect and that person is...

VON KARMA!

The court is silent

Phoenix:Easily excited crowd.

Karma:I'm smiling.

Judge:You're not objecting?

Karma:Why honor ridiculous accusations, with an **OBJECTION!**

Phoenix:You took a vacation!

Karma:You say I took a vacation to heal? Prove it!

Maya:Let's find his doctor!

Edgeworth:No. He wouldn't risk leaving a witness.

Phoenix:Thanks for the optimism, Edgeworth.

Maya:But, you can't just do surgery on yourself!

Karma:Well? Can you prove I was shot?

Phoenix:Absolutely! Just let me rub this metal detector on you and-

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**I...refuse!

Judge:But refusing means you acknowledge the bullet!

Karma:No! I just don't like being rubbed!

Edgeworth:That's not what your wife has told me.

Judge:I permit the metal detector. Commence rubbing!

***rub**rub***

***beep**beep***

Phoenix:It reacted!...gross. Anyway, you're de killa!

Karma:**OBJECTION!-**I was shot before DL-6. Unless you can prove I was shot that day. Alas, you cannot. So sorry.

Phoenix:No. I'm the one who's sorry.

Karma:Huh?

Phoenix:Here's my final proof!

Judge:A bullet?

Karma:Where did you get that?

Phoenix:If we compare the two bullets, then we'll solve DL-6, once and for ALL!

Karma:UUOOOOOOOOOORGH!

Edgeworth:That scream...fifteen years ago...was your's!

Karma:EEEEEEEEDGEWOOOOOORTH! ONLY YOU WOULD DEFY ME!

Edgeworth:I feel like you're de killa.

Karma begins to headbang

Karma:You and your father ruined my perfect record! I'll kill you! I'll kill you with my bare hands!...oh well. Judge! End this charade now!

Judge:I declare Miles Edgeworth,

**NOT GUILTY**

again. Court's adjourned

**Lobby**

Edgeworth:Wright. I'm not sure what to say.

Maya:Try 'thank you' or 'I love you'!

Edgeworth began to look sick

Phoenix:You're welcome?

Gumshoe:WHOOOOOOOP! Amazing, pal! Let's get dinner on me!

Maya:Now that's how you thank someone, Edgeworth!

Edgeworth:I suppose, ahem...WHOOOOOOOOP!...I think I'm going to kill myself.

Lotta&Larry:Hey guys!

Phoenix:Oh no.

Lotta:Let's take a photo!

Later, we went for dinner. I ordered pie.

**Wright and Co. Law Offices**

Phoenix:A letter?

_Nick,_

_I suck. Goodbye_

Phoenix:Oh my god! To the stations!

**Stations**

Maya:Nick!

Phoenix:So you're leaving.

Maya:You can't stop me!

Phoenix:You can't leave!

Maya:Why not?

Phoenix:You still owe me twelve dollars.

Maya:...I guess I'll come back. Well, goodbye!

Maya gets on the train and looks back

Maya:Thanks...Nick.


	20. Credits I

Phoenix:And so my story ends. Time turn a new page and leave the novice defense attorney I once was. Now a new story begins. With the same crazy cast of characters (reusing sprites saves effort).

Edgeworth:Hah! Don't think you've graduated yet, noob!

Judge:Mr. Wright. Perhaps you'd like to rethink that claim?

Phoenix:Hell no! Bringing back characters, out of nowhere, is just lazy! Now excuse me, as I randomly yell...

**OBJECTION!**

Concept-Script-Direction:Shu Takumi

Gumshoe:Hey anonymous pal! Mr. Edgeworth came by and wished me a Happy New Year! He then yelled 'WHOOOOOOOOP'. He looked ashamed. Started muttering something like 'choosing death'.

Graphics:Kumiko Suekane

Larry:Huh? Nick? Nah, haven't seen him lately. Me, I've pursuing my dream of working in cheese shops and dating models, simultaneously.

Graphics:Tatsurou Iwamoto

Payne:Who? Wright? I hear he's been really busy lately. You know, I taught him everything he knows, unlike his incompetent mentor. She's dead for Pete's sake! How could she teach him anything?

Main Programming:Noriyuki Otani

Bellboy:Phoenix Wright? Ah! That defense attorney I cursed. He'll be seeing me plenty of times in the hotel. Now excuse me, I have to create a legion of clones, now.

Programming:Masakatsu Endo

Grossberg:My doctor said there's a chance I may be overweight.

Music:Masakazu Sugimori

Oldbag:Phoenix Wright? I don't know. You know how dull this place is, though? Well, I've decided to leave! I'm gonna explore the world. Who knows? Maybe I'll run into my delicious Edgey-poo!

Sound Effects:Atsushi Mori

Will:I'm pleased to announce 'The Pink Princess' was a hit! I sure owe Mr. Wright. Oh! I'm also keeping my face from the public. Wouldn't want the kids to know I'm a cross-dresser y'know?

Publicity:Hiroshi Nakaya

Ayumi Terada

Penny:Hm? Who are you? An attorney? And what do you want with Maya and Mr. Wright? Hey! Put that gun down!

Manual:Yumiko Uchida

Cody:Phoenix? Who's that? You wanna talk? Let's talk about the show, all boys watch, The Pink Princess. Although, when I sneaked into studio the other day, I saw him...the cross-dresser...was kinda hot.

Producer:Atsushi Inaba

Lotta:Yeah, I remember Wright! Huh, me? I'm training to become a paranormal photographer! You know that picture I took of everyone? Well there was a genuine ghost! I'm gonna be famous!

Executive Producer:Shinji Mikami

I'd show you a picture but...yeah. So instead, here's more credit!

Greatest Fanfic Author:Luis Perez

Here are the reviewers who contributed to my (convenient) 50 reviews!

First Reviewer:Cravat of Doom(10 reviews)

Second Reviewer:Kitty Sneeze(5 reviews)

Third Reviewer:MeteoraXV(2 reviews)

Fourth Reviewer:MattsyKunTehZebra(7 reviews)

Fifth Reviewer:Green-eyed Blue Cat(1 review)

Sixth Reviewer:Three Graces(5 reviews)

Seventh Reviewer:Fanficaddict12(2 reviews)

Eighth Reviewer:**Orange-tan**(1 review)

Ninth Reviewer:**Gabigirl**(1 review)

Tenth Reviewer:X-Kiwi-The-Incapable-X(2 review)

Eleventh Reviewer:xx-animeXalchemist-xx(1 review)

Twelfth Reviewer:Yuki-san loves KKM(1 review)

Thirteenth Reviewer:Princess of Monaco(1 review)

Fourteenth Reviewer:**Dren's Girl**(1 review)

Fifteenth Reviewer:Supreme Mystic Leader(1 review)

Sixteenth Reviewer:**Rachel**(1 review)

Seventeenth Reviewer:jedigal125(2 reviews)

Eighteenth Reviewer:ChloboShoka(1 review)

Nineteenth Reviewer:candyXkyo(1 review)

Twentieth Reviewer:PowerZone(1 review)

Twenty-First Reviewer:ssjRaina(1 review)

Twenty-Second Reviewer:**James Birdsong**(1 review)

Twenty-Third Reviewer:honestlysarcastic(1 review)

That's it! See you next-

Phoenix:**Hold it-**What about Rise of the Ashes?

You just had to remind them of the longest case, didn't you?


	21. Case 5 1st Investigation

Phoenix:Two month since Maya left, and my last case. I didn't accept any offers, until...

Ema:There you scientifically are! My sister's trial's tomorrow!

Phoenix:Who are you?

Ema:Doesn't matter who I'm scientifically am! It only matters that you're Mia Fey!

Phoenix:I'm Phoenix Wright. Mia's dead.

Ema:Oh...I guess YOU'RE going to scientifically defend my sister!

Phoenix:No

Ema:Please! I'm scientifically out of time. If you don't, you're a jerk!

Phoenix:A jerk!...Fine!

**Detention Center**

?:Guard! I said NO VISITORS! Or did you not want a raise this year?

Guard:Not really.

?:Ha! Well too bad, because you're getting one!

Guard:Noooooo!

?:You! I told you to never come! This is my problem, isn't that right, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix:Sure.

Lana:My name is Lana Skye, Chief Prosecutor. I just want you to know something. I've already confess.

Phoenix:So why do we need a trial?

Lana:Because.

Phoenix:...Anyway, so what happened?

Lana:Stuff in the prosecutor's office garage happened.

Phoenix:...Anyway, didn't you go to school with Mia?

Lana:Yes. She was attracted to me.

Phoenix:Intellectually?

Lana:Physically.

Phoenix:Sweet!

Ema:You've always been like this! I scientifically hate you!

Lana:Whatever.

Phoenix:Let's go.

**Garage**

?:Hey there! You 'specting to go unnoticed, pardner?

Ema:Mr. Marshall!...science!

Marshall:Lookie here, bambina. This scene is our turf. You'd better leave.

Phoenix:Ignoring him, I found a wallet!

Ema:Scientifically examine it!

Phoenix:Alright...hey! It's the victim's ID!

Ema:Let's scientifically search the car.

Marshall:Seems like you two haven't left.

Ema:Could you tell us who scientifically owns this car?

Marshall:You'd best go to room 1202.

A woman arrives

?:Excuse me. Are you all set?

Phoenix:Who are you?

?:I'm known as the 'Cough-up Queen'.

Phoenix:Why?

The woman coughs up a hairball

Phoenix:Oh.

Angel:I'm also Angel Starr. And the witness to this case.

Phoenix:I'm leaving.

**Room 1202**

Phoenix:This room...makes me...angry.

Ema:Hey! It's a trophy! Whoever lives here, must scientifically be a stuck-up jerk!

Edgeworth:How'd you get in!

Phoenix:Long time no see, jerk!

Ema:Ah! It's scientifically you!

Phoenix:You know him?

Ema:Yes! I'm scientifically his fangirl!

Phoenix:Is the red car yours, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth:Yes. It's where Lana stabbed Goodman with my knife.

Phoenix:Uh-huh, and this trophy?

Edgeworth:The 'King of Prosecutors' trophy.

An officer enters

Meekins:Here's a delivery, sir!

Edgeworth:Dammit! I said NO DELIVERIES!

Edgeworth grabs Meekins, and throws him out the window

Phoenix:We'll be leaving.

**PD entrance**

Phoenix:What the hell is that!

A demonic figure, dances under the moonlight, staring into your soul

Gumshoe:That's the blue badger, pal!

Phoenix:Oh. Well, Detective Gumshoe, anything useful?

Gumshoe:Sure! Here's permission to investigate the scene.

Phoenix:Thanks!

**Garage**

Marshall:If it isn't you.

Phoenix:This is from Detective Gumshoe. Can we investigate?

Marshall:Go right in.

Phoenix:Hm, a phone.

Phoenix presses the redial button, and a Steel Samurai ringtone sets off

Marshall:What's happened?

Ema:Uh, who's phone is this?

Marshall:It's the defendant's, Lana Skye. I heard a phone. Who was it?

Phoenix:It was mine.

Marshall:You better not be lying. They shoot you for that in Texas!

Phoenix:What's this?

A note saying '6-75 12/2' is on the ground

Phoenix:Anyway, Ema, I know your phone rang. Lana called you near the murder, right?

Ema:...she scientifically, immediately hung up.

Phoenix:Well, I give up.


	22. Case 5 1st Court, Part 1

Judge:Everybody ready?

Phoenix:The defense is ready

Edgeworth:The prosecution is SUPER ready.

Judge:Your opening statement.

Edgeworth:Ms. Skye is de killa. We have a 'professional' witness.

Angel enters

Angel:Free food for everyone!

Everybody(but Edgeworth):Yay!

Edgeworth:Your name and profession.

Angel:How's your caviar, your honor?

Judge:It taste like pickled tapioca!

Edgeworth:Name and Profession!

Angel:The name's Angel Starr-

Edgeworth:Whatever, just testify.

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I was to give boyfriend #12 lunch, until I saw the suspect near the prosecution's car.

Statement-2:She had a knife in her right hand, used to kill.

Judge:Your car?

Edgeworth:Yes.

The gallery murmurs

**Cross-examination**

Statement-1:I was to give boyfriend #12 lunch, until I saw the suspect near the car.

Phoenix:Well, I think your a racist.

Angel:What a shoddy way to discredit me. Especially when I have this photo.

Statement-2:She had a knife in her right hand, used to kill.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**She doesn't have a knife in this photo!

Edgeworth:This was taken after the murder.

Phoenix:Didn't you say it was the MOMENT of the crime?

Angel:I was unclear.

Phoenix:...

Angel:...

Phoenix:...is that it?

Angel:Yes. Lana was going for premeditated murder. The gloves prove it.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**What about this knife?

Angel:That's the murder weapon, found in the trunk.

Edgeworth:Indeed. It's my knife.

The gallery mutter about suspicious Edgeworth

Phoenix:If it's premeditated murder, why didn't Lana prepare the weapon!

Edgeworth:Who cares?

Angel:But why else would she stab him, repeatedly?

Edgeworth:The autopsy states of only one stab. There was no muffler either, to mistake for blood.

Angel:What!

Judge:In any case, could you testify on the arrest.

Angel:Fine

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I chased her, she hid behind a partition, but I quickly caught her.

Statement-2:When I arrested her, she mentioned a muffler, confusing me.

**Cross-examination**

Statement-1:I chased her, and hid behind a partition, but I quickly caught her.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**Where were you?

Angel:In garage B, about 30 feet away from Lana

Statement-2:When I arrested her, she mentioned a muffler, confusing me.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**Was she on this phone?

Phoenix shows Lana's phone

Angel:Yes. She tried to use the public phone first, though.

Phoenix:But, if you were in garage B, how could you see her attempt that, when she was behind a partition? I say you were actually in the security room!

Edgeworth:So what? Nothing changed.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**I don't think so. The time she would reach the crime scene changes!

Angel:Yes. It took me five minutes to reach her. But she did it!

Phoenix:Is that so? Why then, did Lana stay, rather than run away!

Angel:Yeargh! Wait! I have the victim's shoe! It has both Lana's and Goodman's blood. It's proof!

Phoenix:But there's blood on the bottom. Why are there no footprints?

Edgeworth:That's because the suspect knocked down water onto it.

Ema:It scientifically stinks to have the witness on the prosecution's side.

Angel:What? I'll show you evidence then. This photo shows water, and the shoe near the victim.

Phoenix:I'm screwed.

Mia:No your not.

Judge:Now my verdict-

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**There's something in this photo!

Edgeworth:What's this, in the muffler?

Angel:It doesn't matter!

Phoenix:Yes it does!

Angel:Fudge!

Judge:Let's have a 30 minute break, while we wait for the police.


	23. Case 5 1st Court, Part 2

Judge:I'd like to...resume?

Edgeworth is having an epileptic seizure

Judge:Is everything all right, Mr. Edgeworth?

Edgeworth:It...can't...be!

Wright:We should ignore him.

Judge:Right. During-

Edgeworth:This can't happen!

Judge:You're irritating me, Mr. Edgeworth. Please quiet.

?:Is anyone going to address me?

A demonic figure dances under the moonlight, staring into your soul...

Judge:Ah! It's you!

?:*stare*Hey there Udgey! Been swimmin' lately?

Phoenix:Who are you?

?:*stare*You're Wrighto, the attorney! I've heard great things about you! Unlike our little Worthy here.

Phoenix:Thanks, Mr. Fruity-looking guy!

Judge:You don't know the chief of police, Damon Gant! Blasphemy!

Gant:I thought I'd come to help by bringing this.

Phoenix:Teh Scawf!11!0!

Gant:It's unfortunate that it wasn't discovered. In the prosecution's car, no less!*stare*Here's a switchblade knife.

Edgeworth:How the hell did your police miss evidence?

Gant:Aren't you the head of investigation for this case?

Edgeworth:If it means admitting I'm wrong, no.

Judge:Could you examine the knife, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix:The tip is broken off. There also traces of 'foreshadowing' on it.

Edgeworth:Wait! I have to blame someone else! It's your fault Gant!

Judge:Could you testify for us, so that the prosecution, shuts up.

**Testimony**

Statement 1:I can't speak about this knife, unless a connection to Goodman's murder is made.

Statement 2:Also there was a detective, murdered, at the station.

Statement 3:Time of death? 5:15.

Statement 4:Like the knife, though, it's not linked.

Judge:Murder?

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**5:15? That's the same time I do laundry! It's also the same time of OUR murder!

Wright:I'll cross-examine the witness now.

**Cross-examination**

Statement 1:I can't speak about this knife, unless a connection to Goodman's murder is made.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**This is related!

Judge:How so?

Phoenix:This note.

Judge:6-75, 12/2?

Phoenix:Now watch!

Phoenix turns it upside down.

Judge:Oh my god! Where'd the note go!

Phoenix:It's the same note, but now it says, SL-9, 2/21! The same as the knife!

Gant:Haha! You win!

Statement 1a:This was stolen from the evidence department.

Statement 2:Also there was a detective, murdered, at the station.

Phoenix:**Hold it-**We need more information!

Gant:What would you like to hear?

Phoenix:The location of death.

Gant:In the evidence room.

Phoenix:Evidence room?

Edgeworth:That's where the knife was stolen.

Phoenix:This is really connected! Proven by this.

Edgeworth:And this and that.

Phoenix:And THIS!

(Actual game dialogue)Gant:You two make a good pair!

Fangirls can suddenly be heard screaming

Phoenix:Shut up! Tell us the name of the victim!

Gant:Can't do that, but I will say the ID number is*stare*5842189.

Phoenix:The same number as Detective Goodman! He was killed in two different places!

Judge:What does this mean?

Edgeworth:What I want to know is why I didn't hear about this!

Gant:Now, wait-

Edgeworth:It's the police's fault! Not mine!

Gant:No, their yours!

Edgeworth:Wha?

Gant:Officer Meekins tried to tell you, but what did you do? You threw him out the window.

Edgeworth:You could've submitted it as evidence!

Gant:*stare*I couldn't. The evidence law didn't allow it. Unless a connection was made. Which Wrighto did! Good job!

Phoenix:Thanks!

Edgeworth:What? Wright getting a compliment? NOOOOOO!

Judge:Shut the hell up!

Gant:Well, I'll be going now.

Edgeworth:I'm sorry! This was...*Edgeworth vomits a little*my fault.

Judge:We'll continue tommorow.


	24. Case 5 2nd Investigation

Phoenix:We're at chapter 4/8, and we're only 1/4 complete with this case. A lot of stuff are on its way. We're gonna rush, alright?

Ema:Yes, Scientifically!

**Garage**

Ema:Scientific luminol!

Phoenix:Found blood! Only little!

Angel:Sorry me lied. Me still saw her stab him.

Phoenix:Tell backstory

Angel:Two years ago, biggest case for all. Goodman was head detective. Marshall also detective. We had murder executed, by unknown forged evidence. All were demoted and me fired. Now take meat!

**PD entrance**

Ema:Let's scientifically inspect crime scene!

**Security Room**

Phoenix:Can't

**PD entrance**

Gumshoe:Hey pal! The suspect is at the detention center.

**Detention Center**

Phoenix:Talk!

Meekins:I went to evidence room, guy-in-white stabbed me when asked about ID.

**Police Department**

Ema:Look! A lost equipment report from Detective Goodman!

Gant:Hey Wrighto! Been swimmin' lately?

Ema:Can we scientifically investigate the crime scene?

Gant:*stare*Sure! Here's a guest card.

**Security Room**

Phoenix:The card reader's off

Marshall:Hold it, amigo. You have a card? Then come on in.

Phoenix:Can I ask you some questions?

Marshall:No.

Phoenix:Meat?

Marshal:Meat? *grabs meat*NOM NOM NOM NOM. All right, we can talk.

Ema:Ms. Starr scientifically told us you were a detective.

Marshall:That don't matter. The case was closed two days ago on evidence transferal day.

Phoenix:Did these machine catch anything?

Marshall:Only machine I understand are the video cameras and the card reader that records who enters.

Phoenix:Can we have a copy?

Marshall:Sure.

Phoenix:Let's go.

**Evidence Room**

Gumshoe:Hey Pal! Here's a map.

Phoenix:Screw the map! Look at mah attorney badge!

Gumshoe:I'm investigating this place. These safe are great, by the way! They use fingerprints as 'keys'.

Phoenix:Whatever. Check this ID record out.

Gumshoe:Woah! The second number is Mr. Edgeworth's!

Phoenix:Nice! I can humiliate him more!

Ema:There's a piece of cloth, scientifically sticking out that locker.

Phoenix:Who cares! There's an open safe, a glove, blood on the floor, and a jar!

Ema:Let's scientifically fix it!

Two minutes later...

Phoenix:Done, but its still missing pieces.

Ema:Mr. Wright! Look! A scientifically placed handprint of blood!

Phoenix:Who cares? Let's see what Detective Gumshoe has to say.

Gumshoe:Seems like the SL-9 incident hasn't died. Mr. Edgeworth was most surprised. The SL-9 case was his first big case. It involved a serial killer, and what not. The rumors also began. Woah! Look at the time! I gotta go! Here, give this reference of a future game, to Mr. Edgeworth, pal.

Phoenix:No.

**Room 1202**

A bellboy passes Phoenix

Bellboy:Only bellboy...

Phoenix:...creepy.

Edgeworth:Just left the inquiry.

Phoenix:So Edgeworth, I heard you entered the evidence room two days ago.

Edgeworth:That's right. Chief Gant told me to get a screwdriver.

Phoenix:Well its mine now!*screwdriver stolen*

Edgeworth:I don't care, but Ema, I have something for you.

Ema:You're scientifically giving me cocaine? HOW COULD YOU!

Edgeworth:It's fingerprint powder.

Ema:Thanks!

Phoenix and Ema leave to re-investigate

Edgeworth:*sigh*Guess I'll dispose this cocaine myself...*sniff*

**Evidence Room**

Ema:Scientifically check the fingerprints, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix:This isn't clear.

Ema:Scientifically Gloves.

Phoenix:These are Gumshoes, that don't matter. On this side is...Marshall's!

Ema:(Scientifically)What!

I apologize for this and the 3rd investigation chapters. Only two, promise. Fortunately, gave great idea.


	25. Case 5 2nd Court, Part 1

Phoenix:The defense is ready, your honor.

Edgeworth:I'm always ready, so I call my first witness, the suspect of the police 'murder'

Meekins enters

Edgeworth:Name and occupation.

Meekins:I'm Officer Mike Meekins, occupation:Character you want punch.

Just then the judge punches Meekins

Judge:Sorry. You're personality and dialogue just really irritate me. Testifying will make it better.

Meekins:No! I'm suing you for assault!

Judge:Let's have a trial right now then. Mr. Wright can be my defense.

Wright:Sweet!

Mr. Edgeworth will be the prosecutor.

Edgeworth:Well, this is a case I can win.

Judge:And I'll be the judge. Now Mr. Meekins, could you testify on the assault?

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I was professionally telling my name and occupation...

Statement-2:When suddenly I was punched by the judge, for no reason!

Judge:I leave my fate to you, Mr. Wright.

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-1:I was professionally telling my name and occupation...

Statement-2:When suddenly I was punched by the judge, for no reason!

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**No reason? What about the fact your occupation is 'character you want to punch'? Also, you're instantly dislikable.

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!**

Judge:Overruled.

Edgeworth:What!

Judge:It seems clear to me. I declare Judge...

**NOT GUILTY**

Edgeworth:Damn! Another loss to Wright! This is all your fault, witness! Testify!

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I-

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**I've had it with your lies. Admit it. You're #4989596!

Meekins:Yes, sir.

Judge:Wait a moment. Mr. Edgeworth also entered the crime scene!

The crowd began picking on Edgeworth. Edgeworth is about to cry.

Judge:Shut up! Your 1st amendment doesn't work here!

Meekins:All this somehow reminded me about this security tape.

Edgeworth:But I was told it was accidentally erased!

Phoenix:No one trusts you, jerk. Now let's watch this tape with this VHS player.

Everyone in the courtroom tried to figure out what a VHS is, while the video played.

Edgeworth:Screw this video of miscolored badgers, testify Meekins!

**Testimony**

Statement-1:Only Detective Goodman could've opened his safe due to fingerprints.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**Look at this tape! The light's already on! It was stuck open by this glove. This Goodman was a fake!

Edgeworth:Shut up! Testify again, witness!

**Testimony**

Statement-1:Goodman's ID was used. Only he could've done it!

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!**

Meekins:Why will you never let me finish, sir?

Phoenix:I don't like you.

Meekins:Can't we just hug it out, sir?

Phoenix:Shut up! Especially when Goodman lost his card, meaning anybody could've used it!

Edgeworth:If the murderer is a fake, then this is irrelevant to the case.

Phoenix:Or is it? I would like to call Jake Marshall, to the stand.

Meekins:Is this just to send me away?

Phoenix:Shut up.

Judge:A recess while we wait, no?

**Lobby**

Lana:I'm depressing.

Ema:You scientifically are!

Gumshoe:Sup everybody!

…

Gumshoe:I am depressed.

Lana:Did you get the files?

Gumshoe:Whatever...

Phoenix:I'll use...them...wait! Ema! Why are you in here?

Ema:...wha? I don't scientifically know...unless-

Lana:It's the case number for the Joe Darke Killings.

Ema:What! That's scientifically impossible! NOOOOOO!

Ema ran away, crying

Gumshoe:I'm still depressed. I guess I'll go kill myself.

Phoenix:Let's see, Jake Marshall, Angel Starr, Damon Gant, Miles Edgeworth, Lana Skye, and Ema Skye. Seems like everyone has something to do with this case.

Lana:Knowing you, you'll figure it out.


	26. Case 5 2nd Court, Part 2

Was listening to Gyakuten Kenji 2's cornered music while writing. Couldn't put joke while it played. Too awesome!

Judge:Court will reconvene.

Phoenix:Ema didn't come back...why do I care?

Edgeworth:Here's the witness.

Marshall enters

Edgeworth:Name and occupation.

Marshall:I'm a policeman, pardner. As for my name, listen to the howling wind and you'll hear it.

Mune:I'm the wind! Whoosh! His name is Jake Marshall

Masa:Pointless cameo!

Judge:Let's end this quickly. Testify about the day of the crime...in english!

Marshall:はい

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I was somewhere else.

Judge:I don't care about your attitude.

Marshall:I don't care about your beard.

Judge:All the hair I should be growing, including scalp, chest, and armpit, goes to my beard...

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-1:I was somewhere else.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**What about your handprint?

Marshall:Coincidence, the murderer touched mine. It's my locker anyway. Now as long as my trail isn't proven with the security tape, I'm leaving.

Phoenix:If you knew the camera's position, you could hide in the blind spots.

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Enough of your speculations.

Phoenix:Fine. Let's look at the tape...**Take that! **The white cloth sticks out of your locker.

Marshall:Anyone could've open it.

Phoenix:Even with a fingerprint sensory, you techno-illiterate!

Marshall:NOOOO!

Phoenix:You dressed up as Goodman to get into his locker!

Marshall:That's circumstantial evidence. You don't have any decisive evidence.

Phoenix:What about the blood sprayed on the white jacket? You hid the jacket in your locker!

Marshall:...not bad pardner. I did it all for 'it'. There was no murder at 5:15.

Edgeworth:So you stole the evidence in Goodman's locker?

Marshall:Actually, no. It was already gone.

Phoenix:Why would you do this!

Marshall:I can't forget SL-9...

Phoenix:Is it because of Neil Marshall?

Marshall:...yeah. He was the prosecutor of SL-9 before he died against Joe Darke. But he couldn't have lost!

Edgeworth:In other words, no one died at the police station. This results it being irrelevant.

Phoenix:Fudge! I'm screwed!

Ema:**Hold it! **I want you to scientifically hear me out!

Edgeworth:Let's hear her out.

Ema:I was shocked about SL-9, but I went to scientifically investigate the bloody gloved handprint.

Phoenix:And did you find anything?

Ema:Scientifically...no.

Phoenix:...

Ema:...

Phoenix:...

Edgeworth:...

Judge:...

Sahwit:...

Mario:...

Link:...

You:...I love Greenx91's works.

Phoenix:Is that it.

Ema:I just scientifically came here to remind you(to check the enclosed instruction book).

Phoenix:Well, in that case, there's a contradiction!

Judge:Which is...?

Phoenix:The Blue Badger!

Judge:So...?

Phoenix:So long as this demonic figure dances in the moonlight, staring into your soul, placing a handprint is impossible!

Judge:And...?

Phoenix:A bloody handprint was left, Meekins comes in with the badger, and he bleeds. Blood was shed TWICE!

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Assuming this is true, when would've the first blood spill?

Phoenix:You would need an ID card, and this ID record shows only 7777777 could've done it! Mr. Edgeworth! Check the number.

Edgeworth:Can't.

Marshall:All you prosecutors are the same with your 'cover-ups' and 'forgeries'.

Edgeworth:No we're not.

Marshall:Then let me ask you a question.

Edgeworth:No.

Marshall:Not you. The defendant. Did you really only use legitimate evidence?

Lana:...no.

Edgeworth:What! No! NNOOOO!

Everyone began yelling, and no one shut the hell up. The verdict waited 'till tomorrow.


	27. Case 5 3rd Investigation

Let's get this case over with...

Ema:Scientifically sorry. Began two years ago. Me was in sis's office, when she was detective. Joe Darke came, but Neil Marshall fought him. Lights went out, but lightning struck. Image never left.

**Detention Center**

Phoenix:Ema says you were detective. Talk!

Lana:Me was second-in-command. Gant was chief detective. In Joe Darke case, we got all top detectives. When question Darke, he escaped, going to office. Me went there and found Neil, Joe, and Ema on ground. Picked Ema up and left.

Phoenix:Me goin' to investigate.

**PD Entrance**

Marshall:Me won't be coming back, you know.

Phoenix:Tell story!

Marshall:All started on SL-9. Day brother got award, was killed. Knife wasn't murder weapon. Except Goodman, Lana, and Gant, all got downgraded. When Lana left, she changed. Goodbye.

**Police Department**

Phoenix:Where Gant's office?

(Different)Chief:Over there.

**Chief's Office**

Gant:Hello! Been swimmin' lately?

Phoenix:いいえ

Gant:It's been two years since SL-9. Look at photo.

Ema:Can scientifically investigate?

Gant:No. Get out.

**Police Department**

Gumshoe:Seen Mr. Edgeworth, pal? Everyone want to kill him!

Phoenix:What! Me too!

Gumshoe:Anyway,SL-9 knife had broken tip found in Neil.

Phoenix:Help us break in chief's office!

Gumshoe:No.

Phoenix:Me bored. Me go annoy jerk.

**Room 1202**

Phoenix:Where is walking fudgesicle?

Ema:There scientifically is!

Phoenix:He writing stuff. Get it, while me distract.

Edgeworth:What you doing here!

Phoenix:Investigating...

Edgeworth:What this girl doing on floor!

Ema:Letter of Resignation!

Edgeworth:Me tired of running from _**thing**_ I did. May never forgive self!

Phoenix:You up for trial?

(Actual game dialogue)Edgeworth:It seems you never stop worrying for me.

Ema:My slash fic is scientifically becoming a reality!

Edgeworth:Gross. Anyway, evidence list is half what usually is. Me took over Neil, day he died.

Phoenix:Speaking of that, look at photo. Shields different.

Edgeworth:Ah. Now there's story.

Phoenix:Nobody cares. Why only have shield, without knife?

Edgeworth:Ask Gant.

**Garage**

Angel:What me witnessed doesn't change.

Phoenix:Say something new.

Angel:Me believes Lana was transferred so Gant control her. Goodbye.

**Police Department**

Phoenix:Great news! Edgeworth's resigning!

Gumshoe:What! I have no reason to live anymore. Here's my card. Go search chief's office.

**Chief's Office**

Gumshoe:Surprise!

*SLAP*

Ema:...

Gumshoe:I am sad.

Phoenix:Hey! A safe! Me know code...

Presses 0000000

Phoenix:What? Access denied? Well maybe...

Presses 0000001

Phoenix:Might it...

7777775 attempts later...

Phoenix:What about...

Presses 7777777

Phoenix:It opened! Hey! Last number on ID record!

They do more crap like finish pot, collect other half of SL-9 evidence list, get leather cloth, and find Ema's fingerprints on it.

Gumshoe:Pst. Why her fingerprint on it?

Gant:Hello!

Phoenix:Oh fudge!

Gant:Gumshoe fired. Phoenix go. Ema stay.

Ema:Scientifically help!

Phoenix:I will!

Gant:Me going to stare at you.

Phoenix:See ya, Ema!

**PD Entrance**

Gumshoe:Me gonna suck up to chief. Hopefully re-hiring me. Later, pal.

Ema called and told Phoenix, police wanted to question her.

**Detention Center**

Lana:Me depressing.

Phoenix:Talk new info.

Lana:No.

Phoenix:Because of Gant!

Lana:No!

Phoenix:Lair! He forged evidence too! Why help him?

Lana:Me followed orders that day. Gave me instructions, but when me saw knife, me switched with Edgeworth's knife. You earned my respect. Now stop investigating this!

Phoenix:No.  
So close...


	28. Case 5 3rd Court, Part 1

Phoenix:Where's everybody?

Edgeworth:I came to listen to your thoughts.

Phoenix:That's a first.

Edgeworth:Well, I'm gonna kill myself, anyway.

Phoenix:What?

Edgeworth:Nothing.

Phoenix:Anyway, this'll be your last chance to learn the truth!

Edgeworth:Whatever.

**Court**

Judge:Usually the prosecution would start, but ScrEW hIm!

Edgeworth:What!

Judge:ToNIght, WE'll staRt With...DAMON GANT!

Gant:*stare*Hey! Lana's gonna talk, making my presence pointless!

Lana:I confess.

Edgeworth:You confessed already. We ignored you for a reason.

Lana:Why?

Edgeworth:Because you're a woman!

Judge:Who cares! The defendant is-

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**The prosecution hasn't proven guilt beyond reasonable doubt!

Judge:So? THat oNLy matTErs foR tHE US! This is Japan!

Gant:*stare*Shut up, Worthy!

Edgeworth:I've been wanting to say this for a long time, Chief Gant...FUCK YOU!

Phoenix Wright! Rated M for Edgeworth's potty mouth!

Edgeworth:I call Ema Skye to the stand!

Lana:I already confessed! I don't think this-

Edgeworth:I don't care, woman!

Ema enters

Edgeworth:State stuff!

Ema:Ema Skye. Scientifically, student.

Edgeworth:Two years ago, you witnessed a murder, correct?

Ema:Yes, but I'm trying to forget about it.

Edgeworth:Too bad because you're testifying on it.

Ema:What!

**Testimony**

Statement-2:Joe Darke came. Neil came and fought him.

Statement-3:While fighting, lightning struck.

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-2:Joe Darke came. Neil came and fought him.

Statement-3:While fighting, lightning struck.

Phoenix:**Hold it!-**So?

Ema:I couldn't talk, being traumatized, so I drew a picture. I guess its scientifically lost now.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**Actually, I found a picture.

Ema:That's scientifically it!

Edgeworth:Why do you have the list? Only I should have it!

Phoenix:Looks like you only got half.

Edgeworth:What!

Phoenix:In fact...there could be a picture behind Edgeworth's half!

Edgeworth:I'll check...! This piece of shi-...There's something drawn. It's...

Judge:The demonic figure, dancing under the moonlight, staring into my soul! The blue badger!

Phoenix:Before we continue...you know why you were terrible with paper-related tasks in school, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth:No.

Phoenix:It's because you forget that paper has TWO SIDES!

Edgeworth:ACK! My secret shame!

Seriously, though. Twice, this happened!

Judge:WeLL, I Don't SEE Any ConTraDIctioNS HerE. The DEFENDant is-

Edgeworth:Shut up!

Ema:That picture shows what I scientifically saw.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**There's a contradiction. Mainly, the knife. It contradicts stuff too much, so its a forgery!

Edgeworth:No!

Phoenix:What she really saw was Neil's award's knife!

Edgeworth:That would mean Neil is holding the knife!

Ema:Scientifically wait! That blue badger picture...I drew it!

Lana:Stop pursuing this! Please!

Edgeworth:Shut up, woman!

Ema:After I scientifically pushed the man with the knife, I saw it.

Phoenix:Well, if you move this jar, it matches the picture!

Edgeworth:So?

Phoenix:This picture shows the murder took place in Chief Gant's office! The picture shows an armor with a sharp knife. If Neil was pushed, he'd fall there! So...*gulp*

Edgeworth:So logically, Ema pushed Neil into the knife.

Phoenix Wright! Making traumatic memories worst!

Ema:I...scientifically...killed...Neil?

Ema fainted

Lana:Ema didn't kill him! Do you even have proof!

Edgeworth:Quiet, woman. There's a possibility the victim left a message.

Phoenix:When you connect the dots on this pot, you get...Ema.

Gant:See, Worthy? You proved you might've sent an innocent man to death. With forged evidence, no less!

Edgeworth:KRAAAHH!

The crowd began yelling loudly, ignoring judge's gavel. No one know where this trial was heading torwards.


	29. Case 5 3rd Court, Part 2

Phoenix:Sorry for the trouble, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth:It's fine. I'm gonna off myself, anyways.

Phoenix:Wha?

Gumshoe:Sup, pals! Give a hoot! Read a book!

Phoenix:Evidence law?

Gumshoe:Lana sent you this to help.

Phoenix:...It's only two sentences long!

Gumshoe:How easy is law!

**Court**

Judges:Normally, the prosecution would call a witness, but he not trusted.

Edgeworth:The defense should call it then.

Judge:Very well.

Edgeworth:Wright. Know that calling the wrong witness will end the case.

Five exclamation marks appear

Phoenix:Thanks for the misleading pressure, jerk... There's only ONE person who can help me choose, and that man is...JESUS CHRIST!

Jesus appeared

Jesus:Hello.

Phoenix:Jesus. Who should I call to the stand?

Jesus:Damon Gant.

Phoenix:Thanks!

Jesus disappears

Edgeworth:What the-? Jesus?...Merely a trick. I'm still an athiest.

Gant enters.

Edgeworth:Name and occupation.

Gant:*Stare*Damon Gant, Chief of Police. I'm gonna testify now.

**Testimony**

Statement-1:We were questioning Joe, when a blackout happened.

Statement-2:Stuff happened, but point is, I'm not related with the forgeries.

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-1:We were questioning Joe, when a blackout happened.

Phoenix:**Hold it!-**Where were you?

Gant:I was in a elevator, having the scare of my life.

Edgeworth:...

Statement-2:Stuff happened, but point is, I'm not related with the forgeries.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**I found stuff in your office! This proves you were involved!

Gant:You know, prosecutors aren't the only one who present forge evidence.

Phoenix:Are you implying I would present forged evidence? Because I would NEVER do that. Right, Shu Takumi?

Takumi nervously said yes while staring at Edgeworth(remember chapter 16?)

Judge:I ThiNK yOu WoULd!

Edgeworth:In any case, testify.

**Testimony**

Statement-1:Wrighto could've planted those evidence.

Statement-2:Anyways, what would I gain from moving evidence?

Judge:YoU sHOuLd'vE cHECk The PrOtOcoL fOr IileGAlly seaRChinG rOom!

Gant:That's right. I can sue you.

Judge:Could you sue him another day? Because...you know.

Gant:Alright, but in return-

Judge:I know, I know. That place, right?

Phoenix:What are these guys? Gay lovers?

Grossberg&Redd:...

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-1:Wrighto could've planted those evidence.

Statement-2:Anyways, what would I gain from moving evidence?

Phoenix:**Hold it!-**It was to become chief!

Gant:I was already set for chief.

Phoenix:Well, maybe you blackmailed Lana and you control her, especially now?

Judge:ArE yoU SugGesting tHAt HE MurDeRED SoMeONE? You BetTer sHOW a CoNNeCTIoN!

Phoenix:The ID records! Matched with your safe, this is yours!

Gant:So what? I went alone the evidence room.

Phoenix:No! You went with Detective Goodman!

Judge:ThIS hAs NotHiNg tO DO WiTH ThE caSe!

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Shut up!

Phoenix:Detective Goodman filed a sheet about his card. He gave it to you!

Gant:I just lent my card, so he'd enter.

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**If he had it, your card should still be with him!

Gant is going to scream, when lightning randomly strikes him!

Super Gant:NNNNNOOOOOOO!

Phoenix:He absorbed the lightning...The murder was probably by the spur of the moment. To avoid being caught you moved the body to the prosecutor garage!

Super Gant:And how did I move the body?

Phoenix:Through Edgeworth's car, by ordering Edgeworth to take a screwdriver!

Judge:Say something!

Super Gant:Time's up. I'm leaving.

Phoenix:Don't go!

Super Gant:It's pointless. You've got no conclusive evidence.

Phoenix:Fudge.

Super Gant:Good bye!

Judge:What now?

Edgeworth:We'll call Lana.

Judge:Recess

**Lobby**

Ema:I'm coming!


	30. Case 5 3rd Court, Part 3

Mistake on last chapter. Re-edited.

Judge:Now would Lana Skye take the stand?

Lana enters

Edgeworth:Testify about stuff.

**Testimony**

Statement-1:The claims of Gant fabricating evidence are false.

Statement-2:I forged the evidence myself.

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-1:The claims of Gant fabricating evidence are false.

Statement-2:I forged the evidence myself.

Phoenix:**Hold it!-**What did you forge?

Lana:I planted the tip of the knife in Neil, and moved the bodies.

Edgeworth:Why, woman?

Lana:The shattered jar ruined my plan.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**Impossible. Neil wrote Ema's name on it, meaning it wasn't broken at the time!

Edgeworth:It seems Lana is as oblivious to the truth as we are.

Lana:Hm?

Edgeworth:You just talk, and we'll solve it.

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I noticed blood on the jar and cleaned it.

Statement-2:I'm sure I picked all the pieces up.

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-1:I noticed blood on the jar and cleaned it.

Statement-2:I'm sure I picked all the pieces up.

Phoenix:**OBJECTION!-**There was one in Gant's safe! You only got The Rest Of The Pieces(by purplepjs)!

Lana:But how?

Phoenix:More importantly, blood remains, meaning Gant came first!

Judge:CoUldN't SHe HAvE mIsSEd a pIecE?

Phoenix:No! They're too big to go unnoticed.

Judge:MisTAkeS haPPen.

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**Have you forgotten the jar was already broken? Someone came before!

Judge:CaN't BE GaNt. He wAs SeARcHinG fOR DarKe. BeSiDes, WhY brEak thE Jar?

Phoenix:Better question. If he did, who hid it for two years?

Judge:!

Phoenix:Well? Can you answer that, your honor?

Judge:Nnnn...NNGGGHHH! NNNNNOOOOOOO!

Screen fades black

Judge:Wait! What happened?

Phoenix:You don't remember anything you said right now?

Judge:I remember, but I didn't want to say any of the things.

Phoenix:...

Judge:Anyway, why did he fabricate evidence?

Phoenix:Isn't it obvious? To help Ema, Lana needed Gant's 'help'. This is how he controlled Lana!

Lana bites her thumb hard enough that blood squirts out

Phoenix:Eww.

Lana:Lies! I did it myself!

Ema:It's scientifically okay, sis! Tell the truth and stop suffering!

Lana:Don't listen to him, Ema! Japanese defense attorneys are the shadiest characters in video-games! You didn't kill Neil!

Phoenix:...wait a minute. What if she really didn't kill Neil?

Edgeworth:What?

Phoenix:Lana! If evidence was forged behind your back, than maybe Ema's 'murder' was forged also! Testify again!

Lana:I...I...can't-

Edgeworth:Shut up and testify, woman!

**Testimony**

Statement-1:I saw Neil's body impaled by the sword.

Statement-2:I thought Ema did it, so I removed evidence, with Gant's help.

Statement-3:But if it's all fabricated, Ema might really be innocent!

Edgeworth:Too bad there's no evidence to support Neil's impaled body.

Lana:Actually, I took a picture. I gave it to Wright in a book.

Ema:Look! Part of Neil's vest is cut out! That cloth we found...whoever's fingerprints it is, is scientifically the murderer!

Phoenix:...do you like irony, Ema?

Edgeworth:Anyway, let's begin the cross-examination.

**Cross-Examination**

Statement-1:I saw Neil's body impaled by the sword.

**Hold it!**

Judge:Chief Gant!

Gant:If you're going to make me the bad guy, then let me say-

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**It's too late now.

Gant:Hm?

Edgeworth:You lost your privilege to testify.

Gant:...guess I better power up.

Lightning strikes

(Actual game dialogue)Super Gant:GGGCCKCKCCKKKK...!

Edgeworth:How the hell do you pronounce that!

Phoenix:I'll also power up!

Phoenix become a Super Bengoshi


	31. Case 5 FINALE

Super Gant:So what? The evidence will talk.

Judge:You have talking evidence?

Super Gant:No. Wrighto does.

Phoenix:...!

Super Gant:You have conclusive evidence, right?

Judge:Well?

Phoenix:Let me think...

Judge:NOw mR. wRIgHt!

Phoenix:I've got nothing.

Super Gant:What? You lie!

Edgeworth:This isn't an Obama speech! Now, what are you talking about?

Super Gant:The vest has a piece cut off.

Edgeworth:Wait! You had that?

Super Gant:Yup. Kept two evidence in my safe.

Judge:But why?

Super Gant:Insurance. If someone blamed me, I can show the jar piece.

Edgeworth:**OBJECTION!-**You could've forged Ema's name on!

Super Gant:That's why I had part of the victim's vest. Now show it, Wrighto.

Phoenix:This cloth, you cut off?

Judge:There's a handprint.

Edgeworth:The prosecution request a lab analysis!

Super Gant:You're slowing down, Edgeworth!

Edgeworth:Huh?

Super Gant:If you were super like me and Wrighto, you'd already know whose is it.

Edgeworth:Well, whose is it?

Wright:It's Ema's.

Super Gant:Hahahaha! You knew the truth, yet you tried accuse me!

Judge:So she's de killa.

Lana:You monster! How could you?

Phoenix:It's not over.

Lana:Huh?

Super Gant:Oh, but it is! This case AND your career is over!

Phoenix:...Let's see who killed Neil Marshall.

Super Gant:What?

Judge:BuT It'S EmA!

Phoenix:Impossible! This cloth's a contradiction!

Judge:AnD WhAt Is iT?

Phoenix:See Lana's picture? There's blood on the vest and whatnot. This cloth has none.

Super Gant:AAAAHHHHHH!

Phoenix:You came and saw the bodies, cut off the piece, and killed him.

Super Gant:Haha! You almost had me, but the cloth is illegal evidence, therefore, non-permitted. You hid this earlier!

Judge:YeS! He diD!

Phoenix:Actually, the evidence law didn't let me. It was irrevelent back then.

Super Gant:NO! Udgey won't allow that, right?

Judge:CorReCT-

Phoenix:Which reminds me. Your honor. It's okay.

Judge:What are you-

Phoenix:Everytime you talked weird, you defended Gant...your friend. It's hard to accept that our friend is a forging, blackmailing, murderer, but it happens to everyone. You have to send him away, nonetheless, to help him.

Judge:...you're right.

Gant:!

Judge:He's de killa.

Gant:Mph...mm...HAHAHA HOOHHOO HEEHEEEHEE! *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*...

Million claps and laughs later

Gant:Heh...heh. Jake Marshall. Always in my way. Even convinced Goodman. When Goodman asked me, I panicked and killed him...before I go, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth:?

Gant:You and I...we're the same.

Edgeworth:...

Gant:Udgey. Looks like we'll have to cancel our lunch date. Sorry, friend.

Judge:...I'm sorry too.

Gant:Thanks for the memories, though!

Gant leaves to jail

Judge:...Anyway, Lana is

**NOT GUILTY**

Judge:But she will serve for forgery. Now leave...

**Lobby**

Gumshoe:Hey pal! I broke Lana out of jail!

Lana:Ema. I'm sorry.

Ema:It's scientifically okay! I'm happy now!

At that moment, Lana...smiled. Ema ran up to her to hug and cry.

Ema:Please stop smiling Lana! It's scary!

Lana:Edgeworth. I see you hiding behind the couch.

Edgeworth:Damn.

Lana:You two are a great team.

Edgeworth:No we're not!

Phoenix:Well what about-

Edgeworth:Don't show-!

Phoenix:The two halves of the list?

Ema:Those two halves...complete each other?

A mob of fangirls scream

Edgeworth:I'm out

Phoenix:Wait! Edgeworth. This case...don't let it change you.

Edgeworth:Ignoring the gay stuff, good-bye.

Lana:I'd better get going too, but first, have this book Ema.

Ema:Thanks.


	32. Credit II

Phoenix:And so, another case came to a close, thus closing this parody. As for the sisters, I'm sure their lives will start anew. As for me, I think it's time I started on a new journey of my own. A journey to rediscover myself.

Gumshoe:Hey! Don't go blacking out now, pal!

Phoenix:What is it?

Gumshoe:I broke Lana out through a bribe.

Phoenix:Huh?

Gumshoe:Yup. It wasn't cheap.

Phoenix:Huh?

Ema:Way to scientifically go, Detective!

Gumshoe:Well, Mr. Wright is footing the bill for me.

Phoenix:Huh? Huh?

Gumshoe:It's not like my $2/hr. Salary would pay it off.

Phoenix:Huh? Huh? Huh?

Ema:Thanks Mr. Wright! You're the best.

Phoenix:...I haven't stopped being a Super Bengoshi, have I?

Gumshoe:Hey! Let's go see you pay!

Ema:Yeah!

Phoenix:Guess I'll stop after this-

**OBJECTION!**

A large beam came out of Phoenix's finger, killing everyone in an explosion.

Planning-Script-Director:Shu Takumi

Lana:I got a friend of mine to send Ema to study in Europe. As for me, I can't be chief prosecutor anymore, but I'll try to work with Ema...assuming she becomes a forensic scientist. What am I thinking? Of course she will!

Planning:Takeshi Yamazaki

Design:Kazuya Nuri

Gumshoe:Haha! I got a 30 cent raise! Now I can afford FLAVORED ramen noodles!

Art:Yasuaki Kishimoto

Tetsuya Enomoto

Koujirou Ogiwara

Hirochika Nagaki

Animation:Kouta Fukamachi

Takanori Ishikawa

Meekins:What the hell am I doing here? I thought no one liked me!

Graphics:Shuichi Muramoto

Kiyoko Takeda

Yasuhiro Morita

Kouji Aoki

Chie Nakajima

Toshihiko Yamamoto

A demonic figure dances under the moonlight, staring into your soul...it broke.

Programming:Fumiaki Sato

Hitoshi Sakai

Shiro Mikata

Daisuke Kaneko

Marshall:Why does my portrait show me looking like I got shot? *BANG*

Sound:Akemi Kimura

Angel:It looks like an onigiri on my head, but its a jelly-filled donut(obscure english-dub pokemon reference).

Localization:Ben Judd

Brandon Gay

Kaori Funakoshi

Judge:I'll never forget what that attorney said. What was his name? Mr. Left? Anyway, he said...uh. Well, I have another trial to attend so-ACK! I've forgotten how to breath!

Translation:Bowne Global Solutions

J. Patrick Riley

Yuli Kim

Steve Anderson

Yoko Muto

Alexander O. Smith

Philip Soldini

Maya:Do I count as a cameo if I'm not in one case? Oh, well. Burgers!

Special Thanks:Kimio Yamazoe

Ayatomo Tanimoto

Tatsuya Yoshikawa

Keiji Kubori

Tomohiro Masuda

Setsuo Yamamoto

Hideaki Katagiri

Miho Kabayashi

Kentaro Ohira

Ryohei Koyama

Bellboy:Mr. Edgeworth. It's me, clone #3. I have your tea. A note...choose death!...oh well.

Producer:Minae Matsukawa

Executive Producer:Tatsuya Minami

Ema:Thanks for scientifically seeing me off. I can't believe I'm going to Europe! I'm happy, but sad too, but I have a picture of me and Lana in happier times. Thanks Mr. Wright.

Here are the 23(not part of the enigma, I swear) reviews I got.

First Reviewer:MattsyKunTehZebra(6 reviews)

Second Reviewer:Cravat of Doom(3 reviews)

Third Reviewer:GyakutenSaibanx3(1 review)

Fourth Review:pearldrops(1 review)

Fifth Reviewer:TheShinningLight(1 review)

Sixth Reviewer:SuperNerdmanGuy(6 reviews)

Seventh Reviewer:rAwrXdiNo3(3 reviews)

Eighth Reviewer:SuperSweetLolitaPrincessX(2 reviews)

And so ends a (theoretically) funny parody, but all PW fans have had a 2nd playthrough, right(hint, hint)? For now, I'll work on something else, before Justice for All. So until then, see ya!

_**END**_


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